A
female
age
26-29,
*oraa
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for around 3 months and a lot of our relationship is based on physical. Yes, I know I am underage, but don't judge me, please. I've made the choices and I don't regret them. We're thinking of having sex this summer- we'll have been together for 5 months, but there's more to our relationship. I would go into detail but I would ramble on forever.Now, I'm ready, trust me, I want to do it, but theres only 2 things stopping me. The first is I want him to spend the night after we do it- I want to check he has no regrets in the morning. Is this out of order? This could be difficult as I live with my mum....she won't be in while we do 'it' but still...is this unreasonable?Secondly, I'm just worried that when I think in the future, I lost my virginity at '13-15' that I might consider myself a slut. Should we wait a year? We both want to do it- I'm just worried about judging myslef. I won't regret it, I don't think. Does thinking I might regret it make me not ready? SOrry for rambling...thanks in advance :/
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 June 2011):
 "I lost my virginity at '13-15' that I might consider myself a slut."
How old are you?
There's a bit of a difference between 13 and 15.
I don't think you should do it. Firstly because you want him to spend the night, which isn't unreasonable at all. It is quite understandable, and everyone would want that. But you can't, since you're not living on your own. There's also going to be plenty of other things you can't do, like ever sleeping next to each other (since he can't stay the night), or be together they way you wish you could. Wake up in the morning, have breakfast together. Cuddle whenever you want to. And if you start having sex, you'll want more, and you can't have it.
So why not wait until you can have all that you want?
Second, your relationship sounds very sexual. You said you're very physical, and you haven't been together for a long time at all! There's every chance that once you have sex he'll leave you. Boys that age are perverted, they want sex, and as long as they can get it they don't care much about feelings or even the name of the girl. You don't want to believe in that now, but it's true. There are some decent guys out there, but the decent ones don't try to make an under-aged girl have sex with them. Especially not when you've only been in a relationship for 3 months.
Test him, make sure he's not with you just because of sex and to get to touch you and be physical with you. Asking him isn't going to give you an answer, as he'll say anything you want to hear. Look to his actions. If all he wants is to touch and grab, then that's most likely also all he wants in the relationship in total.
Tell him you want to stay away from the physical things, and the sex talk, and just be boyfriend and girlfriend and have a nice relationship together. You can kiss and hold hands, but that's it.
If the relationship gets sexual, or physical, too early (and this goes for ALL relationships, young and old, teenagers and adults), then the relationship will be based on sex, and wont last. If you bring sex into the relationship too fast then what you end up with is a sex-buddy, not a boyfriend.
For a teenager I will say that the amount of time to wait to be sure the relationship isn't just sexual, is around 9 months or a year. That means that within this time period there should be no sexual contact whatsoever, no nudity, no touching breasts or crotches or talking about sex.
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