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Does the repair man like me?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Ok I'm going to start of saying am the worst for thinking things over and over. Can't help myself so please put me straight if am over thinking nothing here, I met a man few months ago, he came out to do repairs for me. But seemed to pro-long the job for as long as possible(Didn't charge me extra though). Then afterwards i seen him in the street a lot (his office is close to where i live) but i mean every day i see him at one point and he always stands and stares at me, i pretend i don't see it but i do. Then the other day i needed another repair and phoned his office and as far as i knew it was another tradesman coming to do it but he walked past ten mins later and came in to chat to me, not about the repair just general. Then the following day his colleague came to do the repair and 2mins later this man showed up again and sat on my wall chatting to his colleague then left, which i hid in the house but am thinking is he using any excuse to see me, showing up when he's not needed, staring at me in the street. Randomly bumping into me almost everyday! Can someone please help, do u think he likes me or is aware of how it all seems? Should i be worried, it's the way he stares at me like he is not subtle and clearly is perving.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntSo this guy is just a sleazy married creep basically.

I would leave a note with the company that you do NOT want him to do repairs, if he works for the maintenance company taking care of your property you might not have a choice.

It's kind of hard to tell him off for "magically" being in the same areas as you are, that is the scary part. What he is doing can be construed as "accidental" or coincidental" and you "overreacting" real easy.

You can however put in your feed back that he makes you feel uncomfortable.

Personally, I would change up my normal routines. I would also have installed an extra security lock. I wouldn't hide and avoid him. I might even consider enlisting the help of a male friend to come with you on some occasions where he (the creepy dude) has started to show up.

Did you know, that women are taught that yelling FIRE are more likely to get help and scare of a potential rapist, than yelling rape?

Now why do I mention this? Because you need to pay more attention to your surroundings. And he might just be a creepy older married dude, but that fact that he ISN'T trying to engage you in conversations when bumping into you is just plain weird.

Stalking is NOT OK and pretty scary. He don't think he knows that you are actually concerned about this, he thinks you are flattered (my guess) which made him escalate "popping" up where you are.

I would, IF HE runs into you (let's say) at the park ASK him why he is following you and that you find it freaking creepy. It might make him stop. It might not.

I have had a stalker and I DEFINITELY DID NOT encourage him. It was freaking scary and back then the police saw stalkers as "mostly" harmless. Which is bull shit. Being scared in your own home and scared of picking up the phone is not harmless.

Now he MAY not be a stalker, he may however have pisspoor social skills and interpret your behavior like Flower89 did, as in you are playing a game with him.

Look these over and stay safe.

http://www.womenslaw.org/simple.php?sitemap_id=178

http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/stalking-safety-planning

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A female reader, Flower89  +, writes (29 June 2014):

Flower89 agony auntI think this man is certainly feeling something for you, he does appear to be going out his way for you.

but have you told him not too stare or Asked him his problem when he's staring at you?

when he was sitting on your wall did you ask him to leave?

if you have not made it clear to him you are not interesting and walk past blushing or hiding like some silly school girl, he is going to think you enjoy the attention from him! Or playing hard to get!

why don't you take another route to prevent bumping into him? He probs thinks you want to see him too

put your foot down and make it clear your not interested!

stop teasing him as i think you are enjoying the attention tbh.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2014):

Original poster - i am not interested in him, i don't know much about him but have noticed a wedding band which is why i decided to try and avoid him or pretend i couldn't see him on the street. I can't use another company, don't want to say to much why, but i can put into a complaint to his Manager but wanted feed back incase i came across paranoid over nothing. Trust me i don't want this mans attention, i just want to go to the shops or take my child to the park without running into him and getting the fecking death stare lol. Or feel comfortable about asking for a repair without the added hassle from him.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntHello,

Showing attraction is one thing, making someone hide in their house to avoid them quite another.

When a man stands and stares at a woman for long periods it at least shows a lack of social skills. He may be eyeing you up and enjoying what he sees or trying to show you he is interested but staring like that could make a woman feel uncomfortable. Do you feel uncomfortable? If so avoid him and use a different company in future.

You say he randomly bumps into you everyday but that is not random, that is following you or making sure he goes where you go. That's a bit of a concern. I wouldn't answer the door to him in future.

Mark

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntWell, you aren't sure whether you WANt his attention or not.

So my questions is, do you WANT his attentions or not?

If you do, say hi when you see him.

If you don't use another company for repairs and ignore him.

Oh, and if you feel like he is "perving" get your locks changed.

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