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Does she like me as a friend, or is she curious about more?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 April 2013) 10 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2013)
A male Canada age 41-50, *ecimis writes:

I've been seperated for two years.

I have two dogs, and about eight months ago I met a lady at the dog park.

Our dogs really liked each other, and played constantly.

Over the next couple months, I'd encounter her once-twice a week at the dog park.

Our dogs love each other, and her and I got along really well.

I'm 32. She is 27, and lives with her boyfriend.

She walks her dog other places, off leash, and so do I.

Because everything had gone so well between us (her and I, and our dogs), I suggested we meet other places, at other times, and go for walks together.

We walk together every Sunday without fail.

I think she may like me, but I'm not sure. And i can't ask her straight-forward, because it's not a fair question. I am single, so can say things so easily, without consequence. She doesn't have this freedom, and anything she says could have major consequences.

We get along so well, but I can't wait forever, so decided to make a tiny move physically, and ask her for a hug.

She instantly threw her arms around me and pulled me close, hugged me tight. The she said "I really enjoy spending my Sundays with you."

My question, as I know we are definitly friends:

Does she like me as a friend, or is she curious about more?

Why does she choose to spend this freetime with me, and not her boyfriend?

I know I am reading into things a bit, but do you think she is curious about a relationship with me?

Thank you kindly.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013):

You are not the first guy to take advantage of a female who seeks approval. These types of people smile a lot, have a friendly nature, and easily get their feelings hurt by negative opinions and mean comments. She is young and pretty, and appreciates your attention and flattery. You admitted you are a wolf. She has a boyfriend. Let's hope he's not the type to spy on her, and notice you making your veiled advances.

You obviously flirt with her. She is receptive because she is young and may not be very experienced with charming wolves in sheep's clothing. Be sly as you like. She may flirt back, but she isn't the only person you'll have to deal with in her relationship.

Remember, birds don't fly too far from the nest. She and her boyfriend have mutual friends, and she has friends, who just may keep a protective eye out for her. In case "the wolves" are circling. Attractive women unintentionally invite male attention; so you're only one in many.

I don't believe you want to marry her. I believe you only want to taste the forbidden fruit. Conquer her, because this is just a challenge for you. As one male to another, you don't fool me. You don't fool her either. She'll tease you as long as you'll go for the bait. She may be naive, but she's not stupid.

You're just a guy who wants to get into her panties, she has a guy at home who has the official right too. If she was given to cheating, you would have gotten more than a hug.

Just remember, wolves can be caught in traps. Little birds return to their nests, and some boyfriends have very big fists.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (24 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWell I think then I’ll answer your original question as best as I can since clearly you are not great at expressing yourself (saying you want to marry a woman you don’t know to show your sincerity is not a good method of communication and will get you in more trouble than it’s worth. It’s better to say what you mean and mean what you say)

So here we go, you have a crush on this lady who has dogs and lives with her boyfriend. You assume that since she exercises the dogs without the boyfriend present that she’s open and receptive to being in a relationship with you. This is an erroneous assumption on your part. Just because a woman does something regularly without her partner does not make her interested in affairs, or leaving her partner or anything other than what it appears. I take Yoga classes three days a week without my spouse, that does not mean I’m interested in dating or having an affair with anyone in the class. It means he does not like yoga. Maybe her boyfriend works nights and that’s why he’s not exercising the dogs. Maybe they are her dogs and he’s not involved in their care. You are making a lot of assumptions based on one activity with her.

IF you have a question about where you stand with this woman ASK HER.

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A male reader, Decimis Canada +, writes (23 April 2013):

Decimis is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Haha! If I didn't need help, I wouldn't be here. And obviously I don't want to marry her (at the moment). I just said that to show my intentions were a more serious and meaningful then mere seduction.

Anyway, thanks again. It helps to gets other perspectives.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntoh dude you are a hot mess.

you are separated you barely know this woman you see her with the dogs and go for walks and that's it and you want to marry her?

yeah get a grip on reality.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntare the dogs walking with you on sundays too?

I think you are reading things into it.

she has a boyfriend so even if she wants more, she's off limits till she ends it with him.

be a man and tell her how you feel so she can let you down gently.

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A male reader, Decimis Canada +, writes (23 April 2013):

Decimis is verified as being by the original poster of the question

"You are not being fair"

Yes, this is exactly what I said.

"You are taking advantage of a friendly situation and trying to seduce her on the sly"

I am? Is she doing this to me? Knowing I am vulnerable and single? I don't want to seduce her, I want to marry her.

"If you're looking for permission to breakup someone's relationship for your own selfish reasons"

I wouldn't be breaking up her relationship, she would be. if she loved the person, she wouldn't leave. My wife left me for another man, and I don't blame him 1%. It was all her and I.

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A male reader, Decimis Canada +, writes (23 April 2013):

Decimis is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your feedback everyone! And I didn't realize love is about "fairness".

Thanks again! Goodluck and best wishes.

And yes, I am a wolf.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2013):

You are not being fair. You are taking advantage of a friendly situation and trying to seduce her on the sly.

Dude, that is soooo uncool and under-handed! She has a boyfriend and she just enjoys your company in the dog park. You're acting like the wolf in sheep's clothing. "I'm such a friendly guy, my dog really likes yours. Now dump your boyfriend and lets get together." Shame on you!

If you're looking for permission to breakup someone's relationship for your own selfish reasons. Not here. It's hard enough to remain true to someone you care about. The odds are often against things working out; due to so many obstacles we face in keeping our relationships happy and trouble-free.

You're single. She's not. Work your charms on available women.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 April 2013):

Honeypie agony auntShe has a BF and you are not even legally single. So why start stuff with her?

Even IF she was curious about a relationship with you, she haven't made a move. MAYBE because she DOES have a BF and doesn't WANT to cheat or end the relationship with him right now.

I would keep this platonic, because if you ask her you will risk the friendship.

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A female reader, babyzbird Canada +, writes (23 April 2013):

babyzbird agony auntHello,

I think she really enjoys spending time with you. However only she knows how she would feel about being in a relationship with you.

I think your playing with fire. She's taken and is not available. Things tend to turn ugly when someone is in a relationship with someone else.

My advice is to enjoy your Sundays together but keep it at that and don't cross the line. Maybe try dating single ladies?

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