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Does she have someone on the side???

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2008)
A male , anonymous writes:

Okay I have been dating this chick for over 6 months now and I notice that her ex that she use to deal with calls her from time to time asking her wassup. Now my thing is this if you have a relationship with someone else and your ex partner calls, what is there to talk about or why do you still answer the phone for this person when she says can't stand them.

Then one time when we were about to have sex, she told me that she forgot to take her pill the night before so I didn't have any condoms on me she goes in the other room and comes back with 2 condoms and I didn't pay it any mind at first but now I'm saying to myself WTF??? We don't use condoms because she's on Birth Control then she said that she got them from a friend. Do it sounds as if she is doing something wrong on the side because she is on campus and I live back home which is 30 minutes from her school.

I hope she isn't just using me for money, gifts, and just to have someone to cling onto for the time being. Or until she finds a guy she really wants like the piece of trash she had before me or one of these bums out in these streets.

View related questions: condom, her ex, money

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008):

My ex used to ring me for nearly a year after we split - begging me to take him back. When I met my current boyf he was still ringing me, even tho I didn't answer his calls. We always said we would be friends but sadly he couldn't handle just been friends.

I didn't find it really fair on my new guy so I changed my number and gave it to people who I trusted not to give it to my ex. It took a huge amount of pressure off both of us by not having my ex ringing me.

As for the condoms - aren't you glad she had them as she had forgotten to take the pill?? Maybe she has them as safety precaution in case she gets caught out like that??

If you lose your trust in your g/f your gonnna find it very hard to trust her again about anything.

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A female reader, ozzyhayley United Kingdom +, writes (13 February 2008):

ozzyhayley agony auntTrust is easier said then done me and my friends always say expect the unexpected.

I'm not saying she cheated on you or is gonna but if these things have got you wondering just keep an eye out for weird stuff.

The comdom thing thats not weird everyone should keep them

Aren't you glad she had one that night?

If you you think that all she wants you for is money and presents don't buy her stuff make things be more romantic girl love that more anyway.

I would be upset if my boyfriend was talking to one of his ex's. But how do you know about it did she tell you? Coz if she did then she hasn't got anything to hide or maybe see wanted to see how you would take it!

Like everyone eles is saying trust is a big thing it can't work with out it! Be carefull not to cross that line it could back fire on you and you could lose her.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (13 February 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntCuriosity kills the cat. Being a woman , she is curious what her ex wanted to say. That is something which you cannot easily control. This maybe a red flag.

The condom issue could be another red flag.. Just be more observant about her and her surroundings.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (13 February 2008):

Danielepew agony auntBefore saying anything, is this all you have, or is there anything else that makes you suspect her?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008):

Wow, it sounds like you don't trust this girl....condoms will keep for a long time, maybe she used to use them before meeting you to have safe sex....maybe she is not so sure that you are not sleeping with someone else and she wants to have safe sex.....trust is important, I think it is time to have this open discussion with your partner about the form of commitment that you expect from her and what does fidelity mean to the both of you.

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A female reader, Anna_McVann Canada +, writes (13 February 2008):

Anna_McVann agony auntI don't see any problem with talking with ex boyfriends, but it does sound a little hypocritical if she says she can't stand him then chats with him over the phone. if she isn't the type of person to tell people how she's actually feeling be it mad or upset, then I suppose it would be difficult to tell her ex she doesn't want to speak with him.

Now if you think something is going on, the best thing to do is just to ask her; don't make it sound as if it's consuming your life and you MUST know. Then you'll sound like an over protective boyfriend who's controling his girlfriend. (which is never good)

All you should do is just tell her how you feel when she talks with her ex boyfriend.

It's always best to talk these thinsg over, and make sure nothing will interupt you guys. Turn off cell-phones, television and anything else that may get in the way.

That's all I can say, the rest is up to you my friend.

Take care, and go with the gut-feeling.

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