A
female
age
30-35,
*torm08
writes:hey i have been with my girlfrind for 9 months ( this is my first serious relationship) to cut the story short.. the first 3 months where great in the bedroom now its none existant!! is it me?? or do all relationships turn out like this?? or has she gone off me?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): Am really sorry to say No.sex doesn't disappear in all relationships.Yes there is a dry phase at times since both of us have high profile jobs .Friend you need to keep your spouse or partner emotionally happy.Find out the little things she likes.It could be as simple as a lemonade that she drinks early in the morning.Make it for her.Start with simple steps so that she doesn't get freaked out that you are having an affair on the side.That's what most of us gals think when we get more attention from a guy who hasn't been paying attention at all.lol.Hugs and Kisses when ever possible make her feel cherished.Start respecting her as a human being first.Compliment her on as simple as a new earring.Gradually she will start understanding that you are noticing her,you care about her and so on.When you have won her over emotionally watch her become a tigress in bed
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
 well all I had was ooops something went wrong!!!!!!!!as I posted and all I can say is YOUR TELLING ME OOOPS! You only have to read it once love wot a day XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
Sorry hun to pop that right as it sounded back to front maybe her sexuality is confusing her, She is going back to her past relationship, Not looking you in the eye is like hiding away from the truth..And when I mean she may need a friend sometimes talking to the opposite sex helps as having had a bad relationship she may find it hard to trust a female and this is why she cant talk with you, Has she any male friends at all is what I ment to say love as talking to someone else can help in these situations (not about the sex but just about how she is feeling) My friend went through this love and she found it easier to talk with a male friend she had been in a long term relationship and then a fairly long break and when she got with her partner now she was really confused as it was the first serious relationship she had gone into since the breakup..And she went through very much the same as you describe. A yr down the line all is fine she just needed to get her feelings out to someone other than her partner so a counsellor may help if she has no male friends...She was scared of being rejected again...Sorry about all the jumbled mess before I no what I ment it just all came out wrong long day at work hunny....TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
Sorry hun to pop that right as it sounded back to front maybe her sexuality is confusing her, She is going back to her past relationship, Not looking you in the eye is like hiding away from the truth..And when I mean she may need a friend sometimes talking to the opposite sex helps as having had a bad relationship she may find it hard to trust a female and this is why she cant talk with you, Has she any male friends at all is what I ment to say love as talking to someone else can help in these situations (not about the sex but just about how she is feeling) My friend went through this love and she found it easier to talk with a male friend she had been in a long term relationship and then a fairly long break and when she got with her partner now she was really confused as it was the first serious relationship she had gone into since the breakup..And she went through very much the same as you describe. A yr down the line all is fine she just needed to get her feelings out to someone other than her partner so a counsellor may help if she has no male friends...She was scared of being rejected again...Sorry about all the jumbled mess before I no what I ment it just all came out wrong long day at work hunny....TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
Sorry hun to pop that right as it sounded back to front maybe her sexuality is confusing her, She is going back to her past relationship, Not looking you in the eye is like hiding away from the truth..And when I mean she may need a friend sometimes talking to the opposite sex helps as having had a bad relationship she may find it hard to trust a female and this is why she cant talk with you, Has she any male friends at all is what I ment to say love as talking to someone else can help in these situations (not about the sex but just about how she is feeling) My friend went through this love and she found it easier to talk with a male friend she had been in a long term relationship and then a fairly long break and when she got with her partner now she was really confused as it was the first serious relationship she had gone into since the breakup..And she went through very much the same as you describe. A yr down the line all is fine she just needed to get her feelings out to someone other than her partner so a counsellor may help if she has no male friends...She was scared of being rejected again...Sorry about all the jumbled mess before I no what I ment it just all came out wrong long day at work hunny....TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
Sorry hun to pop that right as it sounded back to front maybe her sexuality is confusing her, She is going back to her past relationship, Not looking you in the eye is like hiding away from the truth..And when I mean she may need a friend sometimes talking to the opposite sex helps as having had a bad relationship she may find it hard to trust a female and this is why she cant talk with you, Has she any male friends at all is what I ment to say love as talking to someone else can help in these situations (not about the sex but just about how she is feeling) My friend went through this love and she found it easier to talk with a male friend she had been in a long term relationship and then a fairly long break and when she got with her partner now she was really confused as it was the first serious relationship she had gone into since the breakup..And she went through very much the same as you describe. A yr down the line all is fine she just needed to get her feelings out to someone other than her partner so a counsellor may help if she has no male friends...She was scared of being rejected again...Sorry about all the jumbled mess before I no what I ment it just all came out wrong long day at work hunny....TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
Sorry hun to pop that right as it sounded back to front maybe her sexuality is confusing her, She is going back to her past relationship, Not looking you in the eye is like hiding away from the truth..And when I mean she may need a friend sometimes talking to the opposite sex helps as having had a bad relationship she may find it hard to trust a female and this is why she cant talk with you, Has she any male friends at all is what I ment to say love as talking to someone else can help in these situations (not about the sex but just about how she is feeling) My friend went through this love and she found it easier to talk with a male friend she had been in a long term relationship and then a fairly long break and when she got with her partner now she was really confused as it was the first serious relationship she had gone into since the breakup..And she went through very much the same as you describe. A yr down the line all is fine she just needed to get her feelings out to someone other than her partner so a counsellor may help if she has no male friends...She was scared of being rejected again...Sorry about all the jumbled mess before I no what I ment it just all came out wrong long day at work hunny....TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
Sorry hun to pop that right as it sounded back to front maybe her sexuality is confusing her, She is going back to her past relationship, Not looking you in the eye is like hiding away from the truth..And when I mean she may need a friend sometimes talking to the opposite sex helps as having had a bad relationship she may find it hard to trust a female and this is why she cant talk with you, Has she any male friends at all is what I ment to say love as talking to someone else can help in these situations (not about the sex but just about how she is feeling) My friend went through this love and she found it easier to talk with a male friend she had been in a long term relationship and then a fairly long break and when she got with her partner now she was really confused as it was the first serious relationship she had gone into since the breakup..And she went through very much the same as you describe. A yr down the line all is fine she just needed to get her feelings out to someone other than her partner so a counsellor may help if she has no male friends...She was scared of being rejected again...Sorry about all the jumbled mess before I no what I ment it just all came out wrong long day at work hunny....TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
Sorry hun to pop that right as it sounded back to front maybe her sexuality is confusing her, She is going back to her past relationship, Not looking you in the eye is like hiding away from the truth..And when I mean she may need a friend sometimes talking to the opposite sex helps as having had a bad relationship she may find it hard to trust a female and this is why she cant talk with you, Has she any male friends at all is what I ment to say love as talking to someone else can help in these situations (not about the sex but just about how she is feeling) My friend went through this love and she found it easier to talk with a male friend she had been in a long term relationship and then a fairly long break and when she got with her partner now she was really confused as it was the first serious relationship she had gone into since the breakup..And she went through very much the same as you describe. A yr down the line all is fine she just needed to get her feelings out to someone other than her partner so a counsellor may help if she has no male friends...She was scared of being rejected again...Sorry about all the jumbled mess before I no what I ment it just all came out wrong long day at work hunny....TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
Sorry hun to pop that right as it sounded back to front maybe her sexuality is confusing her, She is going back to her past relationship, Not looking you in the eye is like hiding away from the truth..And when I mean she may need a friend sometimes talking to the opposite sex helps as having had a bad relationship she may find it hard to trust a female and this is why she cant talk with you, Has she any male friends at all is what I ment to say love as talking to someone else can help in these situations (not about the sex but just about how she is feeling) My friend went through this love and she found it easier to talk with a male friend she had been in a long term relationship and then a fairly long break and when she got with her partner now she was really confused as it was the first serious relationship she had gone into since the breakup..And she went through very much the same as you describe. A yr down the line all is fine she just needed to get her feelings out to someone other than her partner so a counsellor may help if she has no male friends...She was scared of being rejected again...Sorry about all the jumbled mess before I no what I ment it just all came out wrong long day at work hunny....TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (9 October 2008):
Hi Hunny
I think she is depressed and wants or wanted to try something different and it hasnt worked for her the way she had hoped, She cant talk because she really doesnt no what she wants. It sounds as if she is going through the past and all she had and is missing it but still knowing she cant have it back at the same time. Has she been out with a male before or is it only females hunny as she may be needing a friend, And this she thought she may find in a male, She may have felt as if she couldnt trust a female. The sex may be great for awhile and completely dry up because her feelings are all screwed up. The thing is hunny none of this is your fault, But her staying at home all day and having no social life with you her partner is not doing either of you any good..Her because she is obviously down and confused about things (her sexuality being one) and you because you havent a clue were you stand, You love her sweetheart, You really need to sit and talk even if she turns away.. Its because she canot do eye contact and really doesnt no what to say or how to deal with all the feelings she is going through. This does not help you as your love for her is the most important thing on your mind while her mind is like a void of not knowing what she wants but doesnt know how to say it or even how she really feels..One thing for sure is you cant carry on not knowing and coming home to the same thing everyday as this will get you more down as time goes on if she doesnt show you any feeling soon, TALK HUNNY! You need to know were you stand TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, storm08 +, writes (9 October 2008):
storm08 is verified as being by the original poster of the question no she is a lesbian and has been for 10 years.. the thing is i still think she has feelings for her ex as she talks about her alot and its not talking about her in a bad way...dont get me wrong she has bad mouthed her but she still talks about her like oh we used to have this or that if u get me... am i paranoid? there is no use talking to her either as she looks away when i talk and dont take it in unless she wants to hear it even when we argue.. then she crys about things that have happened and i feel awful afterwards..is the any hope or should i leave before i get hurt... even though i will if i did as i love her so much sorry to blab on i didnt want to lol
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): Maybe she is really not a lesbian. Maybe she is just using you because you work and she is able to lounge around at home because of that.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 October 2008):
Well if she won't even go out on a date with you then you don't really have much of a relationship.
Ask her why she won't come out with you and ask her what she wants from this relationship.
Tell her you aren't happy with the fact she refuses to do or try anything - and I mean going out having fun things, not just sex.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, chandra Mcmillan +, writes (7 October 2008):
 I think that in relationships sex can be different for all different people. If it is your girlfriend who doesnt seem to want sex, talk to her about it. Has there been any other changes, has she had a baby?Gained weight?Had something said to or about her? Talking is the best way to get things back on track.Try suprising her by giving her a sensual back rub that leads down to the rest of her body. This could spice things up!GOOD LUCK
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): Maybe her staying at home all day is depressing her. I know for me, being a stay at home mom gets really boring and depressing. I am to the point where I don't even get out of my pajamas some days. She may be feeling useless staying home doing nothing but wait for you to come home from work. Encourage her to do something with her time and she may come back to life. But to answer your question, no sex usually doesn't disappear from a relationship completely, especially after only 9 months.
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female
reader, storm08 +, writes (7 October 2008):
storm08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe don't like porn. infact she don't like anything like that everything in the bedroom has lost its spark what should i do??
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): I have the same exact problem with my boyfriend, but it's been 6 months for us. So what we did to spice up our sex life is by watching some porno's together.
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A
female
reader, storm08 +, writes (7 October 2008):
storm08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey she wont wear sexy lingrie... or go out to coctail bars, i work she stays at home i encourage her, try to come on to her..but never force it, and nothing works. any others ideas??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): uhmm.. Ive been with my bf 2.5 years, and we still have sex all the time unless we are really busy or when Im working really weird hours. Im a vet student and when Im on placement I often work from like 3.30am on farms... lol!
But no, sex doesnt dissapear, just buy her some sexy lingere and have fun!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 October 2008):
I've been with my husband for 5 years now and we are still having lots of sex. The only time it stops is when one of us is depressed and loses the urge.
It could be that she is just comfortable with you now and so the spark has gone. Or that you have both got into a routine with no romance. When was the last time you asked her to go out with you on Friday all dressed up to a nice restaurant and for a couple of cocktails?
Talk to her about it and find out why she doesn't want sex as much any more.
Good Luck!! xx
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