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Does my married work colleague like me in a romantic way?

Tagged as: Cheating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 April 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2011)
A male India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm a male 35 year old married. I have a colleague, and she is 30 year woman married.

We are professionally very closely related and requires lot of interaction on day to day basis.

I came to know her 6 months back when i was in Gurgaon and she was in Mumbai.

I had not at all seen her but i don't know i felt very comfortable talking to her.

Once I didn't know she was on a long vacation. I was in GGN at that time and sent her an email stating" Hi dear, where r u. I'm not able to find you and it is very difficult for me, if i won't talk to you at least once a day. Call me or msg me as soon as u c this email. Missing you a lot" This is the exact email i sent.

After 1 day, when she had logged in from her home, she sent an email stating "nice to hear that" and gave her number to call any time.

After this email I felt more comfortable talking to her.

I use to call her in the nights after 10pm, on sundays she never hesitated to talk to me.

I started sharing my feelings with her and she either felt uncomfortable listening to me nor accepted.

I asked her once to let me know if she feel discomfort for my emotional talks or my sms's.

She told that i can share my feelings with her without any hesitations.

Once she even sent her photo and asked me to share my photo which I also did.

Recently in Dec'10 our office got shifted to Mumbai and I met her for the first time.

On that day I gifted her a few things which she accepted and she told was very happy for the gifts and liked it very much.

She told, the gifts are very cute and she would keep at her desk so that it always remembers me for her.

Once i was on vacation for 5 days for diwali.

In office there was a ethnic day and she had won the best dress award.

She called me to inform about this.

she also shared a bit of her personal feelings after I came here.

I called for a dinner outside and she told for dinner it would be difficult as her daughter will be waiting for her.

So I told her we will go out for lunch and she happily came with me for lunch as well.

My heart likes her very much and i feel very uncomfortable if she is not in office.

I don't know whether she too feels the same but when ever i'm on leave, she tries finding some or the other formal reason(many times its been silly reasons to call)me and talk.

I have observed her many times doing this. Also purposefully if i stop interacting with her for a few days,

she tries to flirt with me and tries to attract me.

When ever she comes dressed up well to office, she expects me to compliment her.

Once I purposefully did not compliment and that day she tried to attract me by passing away my place for more

than 5 times the whole day and after leaving office, she simply sms'd me keeping some formal reason to talk.

When I called her, she almost spoke with me for 15 min.

Recently i was feeling very lonely and felt like talking to her and called her on Sunday. She did not lift the call.

I called for more than 6 times and but there was no response. I sms'd and then also there was no response. I was frustrated and

sent her an email why didn't you take my call. She replied, i'm putting the same words of her "i was very busy with my

granny's 13thday death ceremony and i cannot attend to your calls or sms's leaving all that".

After that I felt this was very rude of her and i stopped talking to her for almost 10days.

Recently she started again flirting with me pointing out my dressing, my style of work, the way i treat my team.

I'm confused now - whether she really likes me or not

is she just managing me because we are closely related in our work.

Please let me know, so that i don't want mine and her life to be spoiled for nothing.

I do not have any intentions of having affair, etc, etc with her.

I like her very much because she is very hard working, lively person and has responded very nicely for my feelings.

Thanks

View related questions: affair, flirt

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A male reader, krit India +, writes (3 April 2011):

krit agony auntIt's NOT an affair. She just have a crush on you. And having a crush for a married woman is same as watching porn for a married man.

It jus gives you those warm feeling without being labeled as CHEATED.

She wants your attention but that's not because she's attracted to you but to know that after so many years of leaving DATING and getting married ,she's still in the HUNT.

Do you know why affairs r so desirable even when everything is fine at home????

It's because it gives u the thrill of chasing and getting the unattainable. But as this CHASE ends, so does those feeling. So I would rather suggest you to NOT act on these feelings keep ur relationship with her STRICTLY professional.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011):

my feeling is that you are messing your life. do not waste time and emotional energy in this. you both do not have any future at all.

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