A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So after a year long dysfunctional relationship, I decided to put a stop to it once and for all. I am going sober from my ex boyfriend.Shortly after, me and my ex boyfriend broke up, a couple months back. I started dating my best friend (who has been there through it all) Basically, he was the one who always cleaned up the mess my ex boyfriend made and I truly do love him for that.But, I made a couple bad decisions and ended up cheating on him with my ex boyfriend. So long story short, the relationship ended not to long after.Me and my ex boyfriend continued to see each other a few more times after that, while my best friend and I were not on good terms at all, and just started talking again this week after a month and some.My best friend tells me, he still has feelings for me, and I know I still do to. But I feel like in order to really move forward and move on from my ex boyfriend, then I need to let my best friend go too. I feel like they are inter-twined in some way and it would just bring me back to a lot of bad memories.I like a new guy, who doesn't know much about my past and I like it that way. I can be whoever I want to be and I don't have to have constant mistakes rubbed in my face. But my best friends don't get that. They say I should be with my best friend because it's good that he knows my past and was always there for me...What do you guys think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): Umm... you're still young and don't really know what you truly need.
You want things to start over fresh, so that you don't have to face the facts of your mistakes. Apparently you're willing to abandon all your friends, especially the one who helped you through all your troubles and has been there for you.
You have to figure out on your own if it's truly worth it. To lose people you've come to know over something so trivial. It's amazing how people don't know what they have until it's gone.
Hate to be mean, but you're just being selfish. You're the one at fault so you're running away from it, but the past has its ways of catching up. You would be surprised how small the world really is. People know people, sooner or later you'll have to confront it. Best advice, confront it now before you truly find someone who means the world to you.
Communication, honesty, and trust is the key to a relationship. Lose that and lose everything... seems like you have a lot to work on still, but you're young. Hopefully you're able to see the bigger picture and grow from there.
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