A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner someone of over 17 years broke up the relatinship and then had found someone else in a few weeks. They have made no contact since the break up and in addition moved to another part of the country away from friends and family. I dont know if she has moved away with her new partner. Throughout this period I have been totally faithfull. I was not even given closure but was told in a canteen with her friend present that she wanted to end things and had moved on. Does jumping into one relationship to another work even if you have been cheating with that individual for a long period?
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 I think q1605 has given you a far more insightful explanation.
A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (11 March 2008):
 I would give older sister credence on checking out emotionally long before this. You need to go to a site called womens infidelity and download this book. They also send you a hard copy. its starts a bit simplistic but by the end i think it calls situations like yours and will explain her better than she can. I tell you what down load it and if it doesn't help you keep some sanity PM me and I'll reimburse you. I'm that sure it will help you. It kept my feet on the groundhttp://womensinfidelity.com/916order_book.html
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (11 March 2008):
whatever the truth is, it will probably never be revealed to you. Start letting go of getting to the bottom of anything. Even if you could have all your questions answered its all wasted time. She's gone for good or she's gone far enough you wont trust her again. Even if you could work around her very callous way of leaving the relationship it will take more effort to regain your trust than I've ever seen a cheater be willing to put forth. Was the friend at the canteen her male friend? I always advocate taking up issues with the woman because the guy is on penis pilot but if he was sniffing around while she was pulling the trigger I may not have been able to contain myself. 17 goddamn years and she couldn't do this somewhere that you could look her in the eye. This guy will wear off. You represent mortgages and responsibility and staunch sobriety. After they have to pay rent awhile and see morning face and have gator breath and car repairs and just the boredom of looking at this face that was so enticing for a couple of hours three or four times a week. If he doesn't wear on her she will on him. He is not her night in shining armour. She will never cop to this. And she won't come looking for you if they don't make it. I can read this woman like a book. Her first action when one dumps the other would be to seek you out. And she would if she knew she could walk in and never speak of this again. But she knows her ending would be your beginning. And she is way to selfish to make it right. If she comes back you will hound her forever. Even if logically you just want to SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Even if you love her that much. It will come out. AT THE WORST TIME. She knows it. She knew it when she walked. Just never forget. She walked. You were not given the chance to say so much as a fuck you. Let time adjudicate this one. Time is on your side. Just sit back and get dispassionate and watch them unravel.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (10 March 2008):
Everyone is so different so it's hard to say. She may have already emotionally left your relationship years ago and that is why it was easy for her to find someone new. She could also be on the rebound but it doesn't necessarily mean she was cheating. Sometimes these new relationships work and sometimes they don't. I don't think anyone can predict that given this situation. I wish I could be of more help!
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