A
female
age
41-50,
*8trpn
writes:A co worker asked me out on a lunch date. He wanted to treat me and catch up. We went to a very nice restaurant. We talked about our family and he was concerned about my work. We have a lot in common. He seemed nervous at the table, putting his wallet and phone on and off the table. After lunch, he said we should do this again when i pass probation so we can celebrate. As we walked back to work, he mentioned Starbucks but we had to return to the office. I thanked him for the lunch. Afterwards, he doesnt talk to me as much. I say hello and start conversation,but his responses are short. He has been very supportive of me from the beginning and i don't mind being his friend or girlfriend. With him not paying attention to me anymore, im thinking its over. What happens next?
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female
reader, I8trpn +, writes (9 September 2015):
I8trpn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you WiseOwlE! It makes sense now. I`ll move on. :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2015): What's over? He took you to lunch, expressed concerns about your work; and had a nice conversation with you.
He kept things professional and appropriate. He realizes how things can be misinterpreted either by you or co-workers. He also knows that while on the work premises, you must behave like professionals and nothing more.
He may not have any romantic interest in you, and simply was offering you a welcome and helping you to feel comfortable on your new job.
I think you read too much into his intentions. If you've heard nothing from him since that lunch, that's all it was. A friendly lunch with a co-worker. If he got nervous, it may have been because he noticed you taking the lunch for more than he intended. Thereafter, he has backed-off.
It is always better to date away from where you work. Misunderstandings cause unnecessary tensions; and will surely catch the attention of gossipy busy-bodies and/or higher management. Bosses usually frown on office fraternizing beyond professional limitations. It sometimes leads to liability; if a spurned individual decides to sue for sexual-harassment.
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