A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some man advice cuz my hormones are going nuts before my period and im pretty sure other than crying i dont have any other viable solutions to my little problem. Ive been dating my lovely bf for over a year and half and since like 3 months into the relationship he has been bugging me about moving in together which at the time i thought was a crazy idea. However over time the idea grew on me and somewhere in btw 3 months and 1 years we decided to agree that it would happen. But i put some conditions on it that needed to have happen firtst 1. i finish school, 2. i find a job, 3. i can afford to pay for half the rent as well as my giagantic debt! This conversation resulted in an agreement that this would probably happen around end of 2009 may be even earlier. This was never talked about after that as both of us were happy... and i should mention that yes i am/was looking forward to it... So anyhow, i live with my parents now and he lives on his own well kind of renting a basement. My parents are buying a house now and at the begining of this whole buy and sell business i was very involved up to a point where i kept on stressing over location, space, bathroom and all. One night my bf pointed out that this was my parents home and that I would not be living with them forever so i shouldnt go so crazy over minor details. Unfortunately, I am a little crazy and i interpreted this (but than dismissed it) as "you will be movin out on ur own someday" cus i didnt hear a "move in with me" or "move in together"... But i didnt think anything of it. BUT BUT BUT more recently since that conversation (last 5 wks) i have noticed the trend that suggests that my thoughts may not be wrong. In one conversation he very casually said that he has never lived on his own (without a roommate, landlord, etc) and that its something he is looking fwd to doing???!!! Also where as b4 we were thinking about where would live and how much rent would be, recently everytime he sees an apt or house that he likes he says "i wouldnt mind living there".. AND he keeps saying how he wants to buy more THINGS (bike, TV, etc.) INSTEAD of saving for a place!? So finally we had a conversation on the topic where i asked him whether we were still doing that (moving in that is) and he said that yes but he has never lived on his own and thats something he would like to try first. When i asked him for how long he sd he didnt know!!!!! Mind you he is 31 years old going on 32 and i am ashamed to say im the oldest child in the world still living at home at the age of 28!!! ;P Ok so the question is what is wrong.... am i crazy or do u guys hear what i hear.... he does or doesnt?HELP
View related questions:
debt, live with my parents, living at home, period, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): I don't know how to answer your question, but I just want to tell you my story, maybe it would help. My bf and I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year. We have been back and forth to see each other like every 3 weeks. After we had dated for 3 months, I mentioned to him that I wanted to move in with him. But he told me then that he wasn't ready to move in yet. He wants to wait at least a year. After 8 months, I suggested that i move to an area that is close to his. But since I just graduated from college and working parttime at the bank, I cannot afford to move there by myself. I asked if he was going to support me. And he said "I don't think so." It's now a year, and he still didn't tell me if he ready yet or not.
A
male
reader, Mr. Adviser  +, writes (16 August 2009):
 I'm thinking your taking what he says wrong. The simplest and most direct answer to your question lies in the very person in question. Interpretation? You need to ask him if he wants you to move in with him. Plain and simply. Straight up. You can only gather so much information through hints and sentence fragments. In a nutshell- Just ask him simply what he wants.
...............................
|
