A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem with my boyfriend spending time with his exwife when seeing his children. I don't care how much time he spends with his children. He is lucky to be able to see them at least 3 times a week. Today he went trick or treating with them then back to her house for burgers. This is not the first time and I am having issues with this????? Am I wrong to think he should draw the line on the dinner at her house part???
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): I have similar issues. The other day my stepson wanted his mom and dad to all go the movies like a happy family. I felt very uncomfortable with the situation, so I decided not to go. They have been divorced for 5 years now, and I just don't see the need for such QT. I am perfectly understanding about special situations- birthdays, xmas, graduation, etc. But going to the movies?!!! I understand that it is important for ex partners to be civil for the sake of the child, but when does it go too far?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Thanks to all who replied to my issue. I took a little from each and decided to try not to let this interfere with my relationship. I want to stress that I don't have a problem at all with him seeing the kids. He can see them everyday . I personally encourage him to get all the time he has to be with them. My issue is going into her home for burgers, movies or any other reason other then picking them up and dropping them off. I will probably always feel that way. Thanks again for all your responses. I really appreciate it. Danielepew, our relationship has several strains and obstacles but I do believe our love is stronger then all of them.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (1 November 2008):
 My ex stays and chats for ages when he comes to pick my two up. So I dont throw in burgers but is that really relivant? I think its nice he went trick or treating with them. My ex has the kids every other weekend without fail, but any extras like halloween he doesn't see them. He will pop over xmas day for a couple of hours and that will be it.
Your guy sounds like a commited dad and there's nothing wrong with that. The burgers thing is irrelivant and petty in my opinion.
C xxxxx
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female
reader, MamiOf2 +, writes (1 November 2008):
 Oh girl, you are NOT wrong because they had an intimate past obviously, and anyone would feel uncomfortable or down-rite angry if they were you-I know I would. You should be able to be there(although you would prbly opt not to), not excluded. If not invited, he would have something to hide. Be it innocent or not, it's wrong sorry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): Nah I don't agree, he doesn't need to spend time with her at all! He can have a perfectly healthy relationship with his kids and nothing to do with her well the minimum to sort out times etc.... Maybe he needs to spend more time with the kids with you around as you are his family now so they should be part of that family. He is not a family with his ex anymore and needs to let go of that! For your sake!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 November 2008):
 I guess it will always be difficult to say whether he is "too close to his ex" and where he is only "always there for his children", since mother and children live in the same place. Of course, if his activities only involved his children, then perhaps they would be easier to manage.
Maybe you're right that he should not have had burgers at her home. However, again, it's difficult to say. If he does it once a month, then maybe it's nothing to worry about. If he does it so often that "it feels like we're still together", then it's wrong.
How's the relationship with you, other than this?
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