A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months or so. (I'm 29, he's 35). We spend a few days and/or nights together each week, and we keep in touch every day via phone/texting. We have not said the "L" word yet, but we have done other things that couples do- like meet each other's moms, took a weekend trip together, and all in all, things seem to be heading in a good direction. At dinner the other night, we were having a somewhat deep, yet lighthearted conversation, and he mentioned the word "love" twice, but it was strange... I asked him a question (not important) and he responded something like, "well, what if you were to wake up one day and realize you don't love me like you used to?" And considering I have never told him I love him either, I found this odd. Then, we were talking about something else (I forget, but we were talking about us), and he said something like, "Well, that's what people in love do, right?" So that was the second time he mentioned the word.Last night, he texted me in response to something I said (I'm helping him with a fundraising project). The text just said, "Great. I love" and that was it. Then two minutes later, I got a text that said, "your enthusiasm". Is he messing with me on purpose? Is he playfully tossing around the "L" word? What's going on? He's not a mean guy at all, so I don't think he's being intentionally misleading or anything, but if he loves me, why does he not just say it? And if he doesn't, then why say things like this? How can I tell if he does? Should I say it first? I don't know what to do!
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (15 March 2012):
 Mmmm... maybe you should tell him you love him!
Some guys just dont like to use the "L" word.. so you get in first and guage his reaction!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 March 2012):
 WHY aren't you asking this question to HIM????
Do you LOVE him? If "yes," then why haven't YOU said so, to him?????
I find this a particularly tender subject, since I spent 6 years with a woman (and in-love with her) whilest SHE didn't "love" anybody... me, included..... Only when that finally sank in did I figure out that I wanted to have a partner who LOVED me.... and got away from her so I could seek such a partner....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (15 March 2012):
 Do you love him?
It could be he is trying to gauge your reaction to it, trying to work out your feelings. Hell, he may even just assume it.
if you DO love him, then just come out and say it. Tell him how you feel. He might be shy.
Men are softies at heart and like to know they are loved.
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