| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hello everyone, help me to clear out everything for me... one time my boyfriend and I talked about recent problems in our life then he told me that he wanted to marry me but cannot go on with his plans for he's afraid I might had a regrets at the future for I'm a physical therapist and planning to go abroad but the problem is I don't have enough money to take all the exams required. After knowing the case he offered to pay for me the other half of the whole expenses so that I may able to take the exams, it made me feel impressed about that he is that willing to help me but at some point it made me think that he just wanted to help me out and after all, he will live the life with out me for I could sense that he's not that serious in taking the steps to marry me, instead he's helping me out so that I could go abroad... the question is does my boyfriend really care and love me? or what are his other motives for all of this?? please help me clear this out, I'm afraid to ask his side of helping me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): Why are you afraid to ask him? Here you are with a guy, and if marriage has been discussed, it's clear that there is love, openess and mutual respect here. I encourage you to enhance your career, stick toy your goals and take the exams and go abroad if you want to. He clearly sees you have aspirationss and he doesn't want to see you to hold back, just for him. It does not mean he loves you any less. It could mean that he's doing this because "he loves you very, very much." Sometimes when we love someone, irregardless of the sacrifice and pain we have to endure, we encourage the one we love to keep on their life path to doing something that makes them truly happy. I think this guy does care because he sees your career as being important to you and he wants you to thrive, even if means you go abroadnad you are away from him. Many a good quality relationship can and does survive, long-distance, dear. Luckily we have phones, e-mails and messenger. But if you feel he's doing this to 'get you out of his life', then what reason do you have for sticking around, anyways? Take the exam and keep empowering your life. Do this for you. And if this love is meant to last, it will stand the test of time.
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