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Does anyone understand why he is now ignoring me?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2008)
A female Canada age 30-35, *ubblygirl writes:

I need a good, clear, understandable explanation to this puzzling problem

Why would a guy I've had a past with and admitted before that he liked me, text me (sometimes 5 times a day), talk to me online, tell me about his life and what he's doing, fool around with me a bit, hang out with me several times in the past month and then randomly, out of the blue, stop contact and ignore me?

He's not in another relationship ( it ended months ago after he cheated on her) and he's the one who's been initiating it all. AFter our last hangout, he called to see I made it home okay and then I havent heard from him in the last 3 days. I texted a couple times to see what was up to only get no response, so I've backed off and am waiting but its driving me nuts!

Does anyone understand why he is now ignoring me?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

I honestly cannot believe this. This exact same thing happened to me a couple of months ago and its been driving me nuts too. I know exactly how you feel and it truely is awful. I thought that it was such strange behaviour and thats why i was so shocked to read that it had happened to you too.

My story differs a little however as I had known the boy my entire life. We had been friends since we were 5 years old spending all our time toghether and he was my first crush, however when we went to secondary school together we someone became so awkward around eachother as everyone considered us as childhood sweethearts, 'meant to be'. We both stopped contact completely and would pass eachother in corridors without even an hello. It killed me that nobody knew how close we had been before this.

Finally, After SIX years one night he just approached me at a disco and said, 'i've missed you' and gave me a lovely hug. The following day he wrote to me on bebo and we had been writing constantly for about two months until one day he decided to write privately. Before i go any further you should know that he is VERY shy and gets embarrassed easily. so we ended up txting and then eventually he asked me out.

We had not spoken face to face for almost six years so i was naturally apprehensive to meet with him after so long as i expected some awkwardness. However when i got into the car all my troubles melted away and we had the most amazing night. We talked so openly about everything and he told me how he felt about me ever since we had met. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders as i remembered how close we used to be as children and finally our bond was reconnected. He left me home and I was just through the door when i recieved a message from him saying how relieved he was to have me in his life again.

The weekend followed and after that I went back to school, however lots of people had seen us out at the weekend and so the slagging began. It wasnt anything mean, just the usual childish jeer. That evening when i got home from school i send him a message, to which he didnt respond so i sent him an email the following day and six months later I still hadn't got a reply.

Although its been six months, you have to understand that I had known this boy for 12years.

I've been pondering over all the possibilities for a while now and it seems strange but somehow I KNOW that he still has feelings for me. I just know.. I think when you arrive at a situation like this, you either know or you dont its hard to explain but after all of this the only advice i can offer you is that your gut feeling is the best thing to trust. Do not think that this story is sad because I know my heart a happy ending lies in store for us eventually. I hope I might have helped you and if not I'm saying thank you to you because this has helped me as you are the first to know the full story of my childhood sweetheart.

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A female reader, SallySoMe South Africa +, writes (15 December 2008):

SallySoMe agony auntHe either sounds like one confused puppy or is lying terribly ill somewhere or is quietly reflecting on his inner being or just playing childish games testing your response to his total silence.

Both guys & girls regardless of age sometimes exhibit some pretty strange behaviour for which there is no right or wrong answer.

Keep yourself busy to help you stop obsessing about this strange turn of events & let him come to you. He most certaintly will.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (15 December 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntWho knows, maybe he's busy, maybe he has poor manners, maybe he has decided he doesn't want to be with you and doesn't have the cojones to tell you, could be lots of reasons. You'll have to wait for your answer, but just don't wait too long.

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A female reader, bubblygirl Canada +, writes (15 December 2008):

bubblygirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

By the way, Im not a rebound because we even talked during his 4 week relationship which everyone knew he was going to cheat anyways. thats in the past though and shouldnt affect why he's very recently given me the cold shoulder

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008):

Hi, I read your issue, but I don't think there is enough data to make any judgement call. It's only been 3 days, just hang on there a while before starting to seriously worry maybe he has a somewhat strong reason! if it's not the case and that he IS actually ignoring you, then the causes could probably be some misunderstanding, maybe he heard some twisted false rumor about you, anyway wait a little then if he's still ignoring you then I think you must contact him and demand a proper clear understandable reason WHY this sudden change of attitude. It is only your right to know after all, you can't possiby go on killing yourself wondering what has possibly gone wrong!

Hope this helps a bit, wish you very best of luck.

Cheers,

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