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Does anyone think there is even a chance that I can sway things around? Is distance really to blame, or has she fallen out of love with me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 July 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ndy00 writes:

Questions below:

My relationship ended a couple of weeks back after 2 happy years despite a distance of 240 miles. I'm finding it hard to accept. She was my first love, and everything seemed to be okay and then she suddenly split with me. How do I just accept that my first love just won't want to come back with me?

Over the 2 years we shared wonderful memories. We went out for meals, went camping, hell, even this year we went on holiday with my family to Cuba!

We had silly little fights like couples do, and I didn't think it was such a problem, but obviously it built up on her.

My ex is going through lots of changes; she's going to University in September and moving away from her friends and family, and feels that this distance will prove too much for us. But it hasn't stopped us for two years, why should it now?

She is currently on holiday, and god only knows what she's thinking, feeling and what her friends are telling her. She may even have a fling while she's away! She has already said that I'm not to count on anything happening when she gets back.

Ok, here's the questions:

Does anyone think there is even a chance that I can sway things around? Is distance really to blame, or has she fallen out of love with me?

Either way, I will try to talk to her when she gets back on Thursday, but I need some advice. For me, 2 years is too much time to just let love die.

View related questions: on holiday, university

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007):

You are still pretty young - and so is she. You've had two years together, which you both very much enjoyed.

But now lots of changes are starting to happen for your gf. She's moving away to begin university and will be very busy and preoccupied with her studies and adjusting to life on campus, in addition to being away from friends and family. This is about much more than mere distance. The distance has not, as you said, stopped you previously, but now she is embarking on a new way of life. This is normal and natural in growing up.

She may not have fallen out of love with you, not necessarily, only she's going to be dealing with a lot.

You'd do better not to try to persuade her to get back together with you at this point. You might, however, want to stay in touch by email while she's away.

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