A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I have an embarrasing question to ask.It's about anal sex,My boyfreind is really into it and the other day he suggested it,I said sure..it only hurt for like a second when he pushed in.The feeling to me is exactly like i'm in the middle of "going" if you know what i meen..Every now and then its good but that feeling scares me so much..I cant imagine anything more embarrasing then loosing bowel control during sex..But when he pulls out the feeling is immediantly gone..its just a sensation..So my question in will this eventually go away after im used to it?I want to enjoy it because when its just his finger I actually really like it.And the pain people talk about with anal isnt there for me,so he really enjoys it.But its so unnerving..maybe we could just always do it in the shower..to take away the anxiety of 'that' happening.So can anyone tell me no stupid awnsers..does it get better with practise?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2013): Dear OP,I'm not an anal expert but I also recommend an enema and not having eaten too much beforehand. The weird feeling also will stay I guess. I prefer fingering and licking anyway.What I do to lessen my fear is maybe not for everybody. But I have a deal: I won't have passive anal sex with anyone who didn't have passive anal sex before with me. If a guy wants to give me anal, he should know how it feels. So I have a strap on dildo and I use it on him. I do this because then the guy can feel how weird, exciting and sensitive all this is and I hope he'll be more understanding about my fears and limits as well. Doing it both ways also helps for communication (and turns me on ;)). Talking about anal and hygiene, that's really important as well for a couple. Tell your boyfriend how you feel.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 February 2013):
 I have to admit that while I do not orgasm from it and it's not my favorite activity I don't mind anal at all with a partner who loves you and cares for you and is concerned that you are enjoying it as much as he is...
BTW I've been known to strap one on and perform anal on a guy now and again....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2013): I disagree 100% with 'truelondoner' who wrote:
"One thing you should know is that anal isnt for pleasure of the women. Its ALL for the man"
That simply is NOT true, but it varies from woman to woman. My first wife came like crazy from anal, and came to prefer it over vaginal sex. Subsequent GF's enjoyed it, and most made it an occasional 'specialty', but none came like the first wife. wife today, not into it and I'm 100% OK with that.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 February 2013):
I have to disagree with truelindoner; plenty of women LOVE anal. And it's not all about tightness, it's also about being kind of freaky.
I don't care for it too much myself but I've had girlfriends who had very strong orgasms from it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2013):
nope you will feel that way when you have something in your rectum... that's normal.
best advice... if you are worried you will poop.. have an enema before you have anal sex
also he should always wear a condom to avoid a nasty e.coli infection (and if you are not on birth control you can still get pregnant from anal sex if the semen drips out and manages to get to your vagina...
after anal there needs to be no vaginal contact until you both wash well...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): Anal sex is best when your bowels are empty and not after you've eaten a big meal. That is a big concern, and I had it for the longest time so I totally understand! You need a little privacy on this one. Cleaning yourself out is very helpful (an OTC enema) before hand, showered and clean. If you are feeling bloated, gasy or anything like that, it's just not going to feel that great and the last thing you want is to be tense or have anxiety about it if what you fears happens. I find I cannot have anal in the morning. If its one of those days and I am feeling it, I watch what I eat during the day and try my best to be "cleaned out" before the evening.I just think it takes some prep before hand, it really can't be so spontanious if your body is not feeling right.I get that same pressure feeling you are describing, and sometimes entry is not easy so lots of lube helps, and it doesn't hurt at all. That pressure feeling goes away when I am totally relaxed and totally into it. It's possible, that "feeling" is not going away for you because of your worries, valid as they are. I can't assume what you body is feeling, but I can tell you I had those same feelings until I figured out the best things to do to prepare and then I could totally relax and not worry about all that anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): the feeling of wanting to go will never go away. Its always gonna be there.. And yeah it will get better with practice
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A
female
reader, truelondoner  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 I have tried anal and it does feel like you are going to a number 2 on the toilet (A turn off right?).
One thing you should know is that anal isnt for pleasure of the women. Its ALL for the man. The reason for this is because the anal hole is tighter than the vigina therefore it feels nicer on the mans penis. So dont expect you to feel please all of a sudden becase you wont. Why dont you suggest doing but with a twist so you can get some pleasure too? Example.. He could finger you at the same time (up yor vigina) so at least you then get a sensation you like. OR get a bullet for your clitorous. It will take your mind off the pain and discomfort so you can both be pleasured in different ways during anal. This worked for me. Good luck i hope this helped.
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