A
female
age
36-40,
*nly4him
writes:okay im 27 my ex is 28, we still live together and just had a baby.. from the day his ex which he has two kids with found out about me she has been bothering him non stop first asking numerous questions about me then reminding him about thier past that she use to clean for him cook etc too, then i got pregnant and brought back more of thier past , old pics old videos about thier kids etc saying she loved him and always will....Before me they were seperated i would say more than a year, we were together for 2 years. and now she has become hsi best friend dotn knwo how if he she was always making him mad, manipulating him with kids non stop etc. when they were together they always fought didnt get along and had problems with family. Now her family seems to turn all nice now and sugar coating everything so is she and like i said now they are best friends, now he is thinking about getting back with her for one because he loves spening more time with his kids and now i guess thinking about trying again with her.my question is do you think this will work if she hasnt really changed only rightnow i guess because im in the picture or do you think she truly loves him and is goign to treat him right this time, what do ya think. now he still lives with me due to contract and bills but they are constantly texting eachother i love you my wife , my husband etc etc but were together for 5 years and always fighting because she is selfish immature and manipulative. so do ya think it might work ths second time around or is this just some phase.i think she is still being all nice because she knows heis still here living with me and our newborn. i told him to make it seem like im not really in the picture anymore andthat ive moved on so that she can show him her trie colors , do ya think it will go this way or you thinks she has really changed and its not just about her ego on loosing him to me
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female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (9 December 2010):
 He’s responsible for his share of the rent regardless if he leaves or stay. Do I think it would be BAD if you asked him to stay until May? Is what you’re asking? I think it would put him in an uncomfortable position. He was man enough to come out and tell you what’s going on inside of him. He even told you his fears and his thoughts on what the outcome, if it should fail.( He said “ He will regret messing things up with me because I’m a great woman”)So with all that said, I would just wish him well and pick up the pieces of my broken heart and pray the all works well for all involved because with him gone out of your life you will have a clean slate and therefore you’ll be free for YOUR soul-mate because we ALL have one, rather you know it or not, even you! It’s not him, as bad as you want it to be him; it’s not in your life’s destiny. I wish you and your baby a GREAT NEW LIFE!
A
female
reader, only4him +, writes (8 December 2010):
only4him is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe spoke last night and he said he was sorry for everything, and its just that he doesnt think he can ever get over his ex and maybe its because of the kids but he does have feelings for her and he didnt have feelings like this before just that he feels now that thier relationship together might have not been that bad.. when they first got together he was 20 and her 23 and he had just got bad from marines and they just moved too fast and let family get involved , he said for the most part it was good but they did argue and they both made bad decisions and he is not perfect. he said right now they are just talking and will see what happens and sometimes he questions about them getting back together because he doesnt know if they will be able to forgive eachother for the past relationship, and sometimes he thinks about it but doesnt know. he also said he is messed up in the head when it comes to people caring about him, he tends to base everything on how he was treated instead of how he could be treated. he said he hopes it works out because if it doesnt he will regret messing things up with me because im a great woman. .... now i dont know how to feel im not a mean person and nobodys perfect and i do need him around to help us and would love him to be close to the baby... do you think it will be bad to ask him to stay and help until the end of lease in may. and for us to be here as friends and thats it, and for him to just respect our home and me. i dont know and then i start to wonder if they will work out, they were together 5 years and been seperated 3 ,she did make him mad alot through out our reltionship and family tells me that she put him through alot and they dont see it working.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (8 December 2010):
It’s NOT easy!!! I’ve been where you are!!! Trust I’ve been there! You can’t allow him to continue to disrespect you. Tell him tonight NO more texting her in YOU HOME if it’s NOT ABOUT THE KIDS. IF he’s going to be your EX then NO SEX! That’s going to be hard for you as well. But stick to your guns! As a woman you have to show your child that you’re STRONG! Is the baby a boy or a girl? I would never tell you to just PUT him out! That’s easier said then DONE! I’m a softy!!! LOL! BUT I’m STRONG when it comes to RESPECT, but sweetheart…RESPECT is earned!!! You have to put your FOOT DOWN! AND he will learn to RESPECT what you want from him!
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (8 December 2010):
It’s NOT easy!!! I’ve been where you are!!! Trust ME I’ve been there! You can’t allow him to continue to disrespect you. Tell him tonight NO more texting her in YOUR HOME if it’s NOT ABOUT THE KIDS. IF he’s going to be your EX then NO SEX! That’s going to be hard for you as well, but stick to your guns! As a woman you have to show your child that you’re STRONG! Is the baby a boy or a girl? I would never tell you to just PUT him out! That’s easier said then DONE! I’m a softy!!! LOL! BUT I’m STRONG when it comes to RESPECT, but sweetheart…RESPECT is earned!!! You have to put your FOOT DOWN! AND he will learn to RESPECT what you want from him
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A
female
reader, only4him +, writes (8 December 2010):
only4him is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know i told him to get out but im not a mean person and told him i was just so tired of the situation and that he could stay and he said ,"thanks but i will leave, the situation is not right i know that" and i told him i know i dont like the situation, but you know you will always have a home here with us. i love him so much i just really hate to be going through this, i really just wanted us to be a family
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (7 December 2010):
Legally most states would call what you did an illegal eviction. I can’t tell you with a clear conscience putting him out after he paid his rent was the “RIGHT” thing to do, since you had already stated he was there due to “BILLS”. NOW!!! since he AGREED that you deserve better and that he’s sorry for the way things turned out. THEN let him move on. There’s no need to let him back in! Worry taking care of your BABY!!! And moving on with your NEW life with out him! Feel to write back for advice! Anytime! And I wish all the luck in the WORLD!!! TRULY I DO! P.S. The rent money he paid can be considered CHILD SUPPORT! ijs!
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (7 December 2010):
Legally most states would call what you did an illegal eviction. I can’t tell you with a clear conscience putting him out after he paid his rent was the “RIGHT” thing to do, since you had already stated he was there due to “BILLS”. NOW!!! since he AGREED that you deserve better and that he’s sorry for the way things turned out. THEN let him move on. There’s no need to let him back in! Worry taking care of your BABY!!! And moving on with your NEW life with out him! Feel to write back for advice! Anytime! And I wish all the luck in the WORLD!!! TRULY I DO! P.S. The rent money he paid can be considered CHILD SUPPORT! ijs!
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A
female
reader, only4him +, writes (7 December 2010):
only4him is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell today i finally told him that he needs to get his stuff and get out of my house asap... he got upset and said he already paid his half of the rent and he cant right now , and i said that is not my problem if he doesnt get his stuff out by this weekend it will be outside,,, so he got real upset and went off on me calling me names and saying why did he ever date me if i was soo boring etc ... then he finally said ok he will be out... then after a while he apologizes and says that i am a nice girl and i deserve better and he is sorry for the way things turned out ... i just told him to leave me alone
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (5 December 2010):
I wouldn't want him. You deserve somebody to call your own. He's there with in BODY only , his mind and heart is with her. LET him go! You mentioned that you told him to "Make it seem like I'm not really in the picture anymore and that I've moved on. So that she can show him her true colors" NO. Let him go back to her and her MADNESS! And you find somebody who will love you! If she sends him through the same things as she did before then that's HIS FAULT!AND Don't allow him to come running back in forth in and out of your life. He'll come back, like a dog with his tail in between his legs! JUST SAY "NO" Tomorrow is NOT granted to us! LIVE FOR TODAY! As far as BILLS and CONTRACTS. You'll have bills until the day you die! And even then you have a funeral to pay for! ijs! SEND HIM TO HER! Good luck with your new life!! And.. I wish WELL!! That's coming from the BOTTOM of my heart!
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