A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend that is having a hard time in his marriage. We always talk on the phone; but it has gotten to the point where he talking to me while she is at home also. Today, we were talking about his children when he said, ''In another lifetime, they could have been yours.'' I laughed because of the way the children were fighting. In the back of my mind, I keep trying to figure out his meaning. Is he actually trying to tell me his feelings? Or am I being crazy? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011): This is dangerous. Yeah, be only a friend right now. Do not isolate yourself with him in person and encourage him to work thru his marriage issues. Suggest counseling or a resolution. His emotions are out of sorts and so its unwise for you to put yourself into a cheating situation with him, even if his marriage is doomed. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (10 May 2011):
 Hi
It sounds like you have been a great freind to him, and you have helped him through tuff times, But he may have taken that for you wanting more from him, and has said this to see if you have feelings for him too. either way I wouldn't go there, you would be best to distance yourself for a bit. Too many people would get hurt from anything other than freindship going on. Im not saying you want to take this any further, just if you do have feelings for him to, think very carfully before you say anything! Or he may have just said that as a joke because the kids were playing around, and he was expecting you to say me kids never :D All you can do is b a freind right now, and part of that is helping him stay focused on his wife and children. I am sure either way you will do the right thing.
I hope this has helped
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (10 May 2011):
 You need to be firm with this friend - he is using his marriage issues to get closer to you - in honest terms - he is having an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR with you. YOU are the third person in their marriage!!
If he is having problems with his wife he should be talking to her trying to sort the issues out NOT UNBURDENING HIMSELF ON YOU.
I suspect the problems he is having in his marriage stem from his behaviour....
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A
female
reader, funkykangaroo +, writes (10 May 2011):
o if he said verbatum "in another lifetime, they could have been yours" then yes he has feelings for you. in no context could that comment be ok. were you talking about wanting kids? or past relationships? at any rate, i would cut back on the friendship. tell him to take his wife on a date. give him some good ideas to help their bond- activities build connections. indoor skydiving, iceskating, bowling, pool, walk/hike... try and stear ur friendship away from you-and-him and more towards him-and-his wife...where you are a casual friend. and don't talk to him on the phone/text/email so much. its not appropriate.
-about to be married
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011): I don't think you should read anything into it, it could easily and most like meant, 'please take them off me they are being so crazy today!' Also he may find talking to a woman actually helps his marriage. Try and stay clear of any feelings you might start to develop and it's best to let him work out his own problems, maybe with a therapist. Nothing good ever came from intruding onto another persons marriage, you will only get hurt.
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