A
female
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*.BrokenxHearts.x
writes:Hey everyone,I just need your opinion on something I've had on my mind lately, whether you think I'm being paranoid or not....I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months he is 31 and I'm coming up 21, so this guys 10 years my senior and in his life he's had all sorts of relationships, he used to live with his ex for a while I don't know how long I haven't asked any questions about it, but now he has his own flat whilst I am still at home studying my nursing! He tells me he loves me all the time and I do love him, I really do the age has never been an issue but lately I've been wondering whether he wishes he could have something different where he's settled living with someone like he did with his ex having a proper relationship for a man his age.I don't know I guess I'm just being paranoid but do you think our relationship will last or do you think he will soon want to have a real serious relationship?
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female
reader, miztreszz  +, writes (13 February 2011):
Hey girl.. Im actually in the same situation your in. My bf just turned 30 and Im 20. I know how you must feel- Is he ever going to take me seriously because of my age? Honestly, If you do ask yourself that I would say- NO. Dont get me wrong every guy is different and his intentions for you could be harmless and yes he could truly care for you. OR you have the older guy that takes advantage of a younger woman because she doesn't know any better. If he is that sincere guy, than he wants nothing but the best for you and the last thing he needs is to rush into a relationship that he has never tested waters with.. (meaning the age difference). Because he is older and usually older men are set in their ways- He will take his time to make a decision about officially being with you for a while- this all depends on his financial state and where exactly he is in his life- Being with a younger woman his goals could change and that means he would possibly wait longer for marriage and family (if he doesn't already). I dont know if this makes sense but men want what they cant have-women too but we play the game a little better. He knows your looking to have a serious relationship with him- but at this point what can YOU offer him? Are you a keeper or something he needs to "get out of his system". He will call the shots and YES it may take a while for him to realize that you TRUELY want to be with him. But remember hes just as insecure as you are- He is probably asking himself whether you would leave him for a younger man, someone around your age. Just how you think he wants relationship like the ones he had before you. You have to remember the relationship he had before you didn't work. So he is trying a new way of maintaining a relationship with you. All I know through my experience with my boyfriend is communication and trust is key to make a relationship work- no matter what the age is IF he wants to be with you he will do whatever it takes to win you over. If he feels that he has you already he wouldn't even bother to TRY to take the next step with you.
Good luck. Xoxo
P.S Think about your future and your goals.. NOT what he wants... and thats how you will know if hes really worth the serious relationship IF he supports YOUR life goals.
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (8 February 2011):
It depends on the guy and where his mind is at. Honestly, I don't see any reason why your relationship would have to end in the near future. I know plenty of guys in their early 30's that still aren't in a "settle down" mode. I wouldn't worry about it unless he starts to pressure you. For now, you're just anticipating a problem that may not ever exist... maybe he'd be happy to wait until you're read to get serious, if it is meant to be.
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