A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my bf just over a month ago, he was verbally/emotionally abusive. We were going out for 7 months. Anyway up until yesterday we hadnt spoken to each other since the break up. I dindt try to contact him at all and he made a few lame attempts to get my attention through friends and the internet.Anyway, he started talking to me yesterday and he was really nice to me. It felt like we were back to when we first met- how he seemed perfect. I dont have plans to get back with him, cause i dont want to be in the same situation but what I would like to know is do you think its ok to be friends with him? or would he still be able to abuse me as a friend? i really miss the friendship we had. i could tell him anything! and when i was talking to him yesterday i had this desperate need to tell him EVERYTHING that was going on in my life, so much had changed and happeneed and i just wanted to tell him as he was telling me evrything about his life...but i helf back in fear i would get hurt again.my ex bf also said to me that he has been working 7 days a week because since we broke up he has felt so lost and lonely and didnt know what to do with himself on his days off. do you think he wnats to get back with me? if so why???? he always put me down, i thought he hated me...so why would he want to get back with me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Ever heard of the saying 'A leopard never changes its spots'? Same with most blokes, I'm afraid.
I'm guessing he probably wants to get back with you because he's feeling horny and has nowhere else to put it at the moment.
Exes are in the past and it's my belief that's where they should stay. If it wasn't nice the first time round it's unlikely to be any different the second. By all means stay friends if that's what you want, but anything more than that is likely to end in tears. Again.
Phil
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): men can do alot of things and mistakes as well no one can say what or how he feels maybe he does love you and if he does then tell that you want to be friends for now then you can watch him and see how he acts
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A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 an ex is an ex for a reason and they'll be all nice and tell you what you want to hear when they are trying to get into your good backs but it wouldn't be long before his old ways returns.
you're right in thinking to stay away, friendship wouldn't work because you clearly hold a torch for him and could you handle it if he got a new girlfriend?
time on your own is defo the best option. and maybe think about cutting all ties with all your exes.
best of luck
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