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Do you think he loves her and will treat her better than he treated me?

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *aToyia writes:

My ex was manipulative and verbally abusive, in my opinion. His mother was terminally ill so I felt sorry for him and let him get away with a lot. He told me that he is emotionless and insensitive. He would call me names: stupid, hoodrate, whore; and date behind my back and lie abou it. He's now with someone else, and it seems like it's going great with her! All of a sudden he's in love and just the best guy ever??? His whole personality has changed. He tells me that his new girlfriend doesn't want him to talk to me but he does anyways, so that should tell me how much he cares about me. But all he does is throw his new relationship in my face. I thought that we would be able to work things out eventually, but he just used my companionship till he found someone else. He knows I'm a great woman who was there for him. He even said that I was an excellent girlfriend. I wonder if he really did change for her. He said he wants to marry her only 2 moths after dating her b/c he's in love??? What the...He can't be real. If not, then why would he do this?? I remember he told me one time that one of his exes said he was a "MONSTER". I was like whooooaaa, b/c that's the VERY SAME THING I was thinking.

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A female reader, LaToyia United States +, writes (22 August 2009):

LaToyia is verified as being by the original poster of the question

LaToyia agony auntoh i understand baby duck. thank you. i've been contemplating that for a while and that's the first time someone has said that after having explained my situation. thank you for all of your advice so far.

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (22 August 2009):

QuirkLady agony auntHere's a question: why are you putting up with this pain from this abusive piece of crap?

Sure, you seem like a very loving and caring girlfriend, but you can't change people. I'm sure you thought that if you cared enough, if you loved enough, if you supported enough he would change and love you like you deserve...which is pretty much the definition of codependent. Being codependent is not evil or horrible, and the sooner that you address these internal issues the sooner you can heal and move on to a better, more honest relationship.

I suggest that you check out a book called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It's an excellent book and has helped a lot of people.

Good luck.

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A female reader, LaToyia United States +, writes (22 August 2009):

LaToyia is verified as being by the original poster of the question

LaToyia agony aunti see. thank you. i did check that out and i started a profile there. i've been thinking about that for a while and i knew that. it's just that i deny it sometimes. and i know that he more than likely cannot really love anyone.

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A female reader, LaToyia United States +, writes (22 August 2009):

LaToyia is verified as being by the original poster of the question

LaToyia agony auntyou think i may be co-dependant. ouch.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (22 August 2009):

Danielepew agony auntIt seems to be that he will only be this loving for a while. Then he'll be the way he was with you.

The best thing you can do is forget about him. You loved him, he didn't; his loss.

Take care.

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