A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have a question for guys or girls in the know. I was wondering how often men think about women in a sexual way. Does it vary if you are in a relationship; is it a reflection on the girlfriend the amount the guy checks other girls out? Do men really think about their partners when they masturbate or do they think about other girls? I sometimes feel its an uphill struggle to get my boyfriends attention if looking and thinking about other girls is a much bigger part of his head space then it would be for me. Is it a natural urge that men have to think about other women in a sexual way so it is pointless worrying about it because it will always be there? x Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jimmy James  +, writes (6 November 2009):
Yes, men think of other women. It doesnt mean we'll be unfaithful or that we want someone else. It's just how we're built and to blame a man for thinking that way is like yelling at a women for wanting kids or wanting to be protected. It's instinct. It's not personal and it really doesn't relect on his mate at all. As long as he's not cheating or disrespecting her by flirting with another woman in front of her than theres nothing that can be done about his thoughts, and nothing to worry about.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): I need that question answering too! I always accuse my boyfriend of looking at other girls or thinking about them while we are being sexual with eachother, but i never know if he actually is. Thats whats hard. Help much?
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Yes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): I'm afraid so, for some guys it can take up a fair bit of the day, and usually forms a part of a conversation when two or more guys get together....but it doesn't mean that we become unfaithful because of it, its a hard wired thing like dna.
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A
male
reader, JSBach  +, writes (19 July 2009):
Yes, men do think sexually about other women. Sorry, but that's the way that nature made us. Of course, a gentleman will not overtly ogle women on the streets or pass comment on them in the presence of his girlfriend/wife. You can't help your desires, but you should be able to control how you react to them.
So I'm afraid that all men are guilty of this thought crime, and either you will have to learn to put it out of your head and stop worrying about it, or lead a manless life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): There are two types of "I want him to pay less attention to other women!" complaints.
One set of GFs are complaining because their BF constantly ogles at other women and/or talks about them right in front of her. This complaint is reasonable. GFs are perfectly normal to expect the man to tone this stuff down and grow up a little. Looking is one thing but rubbernecking and catcalls are another.
But some women really want to wipe out all images & thoughts & experiences of other women from their BF's life entirely. This just isn't reasonable. Men are human just like women. Whether it's either gender we are talking about, we all naturally like to look at attractive people in everyday life and sometimes we will fantasize about other people than our partner.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): ouch Grim.. so it's a fantasy for men to be with anyone but they're current mate? So what does that make the dream of BEING with you current mate? A nightmare? oooo
~Sy.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (19 July 2009):
 It is a level of maturity in a man that determines if every waking moment is sexually charged or not. Although I am 44 I admit that it is often easier to act like Im 44 going on 19. Although urges to instantaneously look at a female and think of her in a sexual manner do lessen as the years go on, Im still just as guilty of looking at some hot redhead and thinking Id like to bend her over the bus stop at the corner, or seeing an unattractive female walking down the same street and screaming that I'm blind to everyone within earshot.
All us men revisit this childish and superficial outlook many times throughout our lives, so I would really not worry too much about it. It is really no mark against a female if her guy has the roaming eye, but it is up to the male in a committed relationship to be able to be respectful enough to identify it when it's making his mate uncomfortable.
As far as masturbation...being it's 9/10ths fantasy, most likely males (myself included) would think about ANYONE other than our mate when doing the five knuckle shuffle...thats why its fantasy, young lady.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): It is my belief that a major percent of male population does think sexually of many women, but I would predict that most of these women are either faceless, or women they will never meet. That is MOST I said.. not all.
His extremnities of checking out other girls should have a mutual relationship with your comfort level of how he acts about other girls. For instance, while it is ok in one relationship for both people to look upon and remark upon male and females in their paths, other prefer it was kept to themselves, not said allowd. If your partner is remarking when you'd rather he didn't, this is something he should find easy to alter to put you at ease. It is not pointless for you to worry because it will not always be there. If you simply can't cope with your man looking at other girls, you can find someone who doesn't. I know a handful of men who look all they want, but once they find their own girl, their eyes belong only to her. There are people of all sorts and part of finding the right one is having thigns like that in common. Of course, if this is what you you expect from him, I assume you never look at other men? Or think if them in a sexual manner?
~Sy.
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