A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some help here. Why would a man seek an emotional connection with a women besides his wife? I met someone a few years ago. I had an immediate attraction but stayed away as I knew he was married with kids. We work for the same company but are about 1000 miles away. Ever since I met him he has been trying to reach out to me via texting, callin, email... Etc. At first I stayed away but didn't want to appear rude as he was just chatting no flirtations . Throughout the last year this relationship has gone from texting one every few months to every single day. I look back and wonder this could have happened. There will never be physical contact but I really like him and our communication. Our relationship is now that we have both confessed our attraction but r frustrated as this is as far as it can go. I would never take him away from his kids. My question is why? Why dud he seek me out. Don't most men want something physical? He us risking so much with our communication. His wife would be furious if she knew. Can he truly love his wife if he is willing to hurt her ? His kids will be out of the house in 5 years and my mind wanders if I should wait and see what happens then or if I should end it. Guys please help me understand his intentions. I can't eat or sleep anymore. I know what is right but I obsessed with his attention and always text back
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): Sorry in selected male by accident but am a female. Thanks for all of your help
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (24 January 2011):
 You represent the forbidden excitement in another city. If he plays his cards right, he could have a convenient affair far away from the eyes of his wife or his childred and any of their friends. Now that he's confessed his "attraction" for you, it's time for you to ask more questions. Like why is he still married if he's really unhappy? What is wrong with his marriage? What's good about it? What drew him to his wife; and why has it fallen short? You need to figure out if he's going through a phase, or having a midlife crisis or just needs a little long-distance ego boost. It's no accident that he chose someone who is quite far away. It could mean what I mentioned above (a far away city so his adultery will be neatly concealed) or simply that you're too far away to allow this thing to be anything but a verbal fling, which may be all he really wants. Just the occasional ego boost from his hum-drum life. I don't think you should wait for him or give up any opportunities you may have to meet a single man who's not tangled into a relationship like this. Otherwise you could be in for a rude awakening 5 years from now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): EEEEK! He is MARRIED! Stay away honey. A relationship with a married man is NOT a good thing, and could get verrrry messy.
Consider that he may just want a "Fling" with you. Do you want to be the "Other Woman"? If you start messing around with him, and you fall in love, you probably WILL get hurt.
There are plenty of single men out there.
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (24 January 2011):
 I'm a little confused. Hopefully, you can clarify something for us. Your questions asks, "Why would a man seek an emotional connection with a WOMAN besides his wife?" However, your profile states that you are male? Is that a mistake? I'm just trying to clarify if this is a married man who is hiding his homosexuality and seeking relations with a man secretly, or if this a married man who is finding solace with another woman. Thanks!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011):
He is trying to get you to have a physical relationship eventually with him. For all you know you are not the only other woman he is involved with, he may be having other relationships.
I don't have to tell you that this is wrong and not a good idea. You're having an emotional affair, interfering in another relationship and hurting a family.
If you can't sleep or eat because of this you are in some type of addictive state which isn't based on reality at all.
This is not good for you.
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