A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i dated my ex for 2 years, when i found out i was pregnant and told him on valentines day, he dumped me. he treated me like crap my whole pregnancy, he never called or emailed me and whenever i contacted him (i sent ultrasounds and updates, i was friendly) he would insult me but he would say he wanted to meet the baby. his family called me a goldigger. all his friends called me a slut. he eventually changed his number and moved to another country. the day before giving birth i found out he had a girlfriend since i was about 5 months pregnant and he never said anything about it. he called me from a private number about 2 days after my son was born (i let his friend know the baby was born so he would contact him) and asked about the baby... i was hurt so i asked him about this new girlfriend and he said he loved her, she was special and he was going to marry her... i told him i would never forgive him for leaving me pregnant and alone and insulting and disrespecting me so much (he even called me an incubator). i haven't seen him since valentine's day. he says he wants to see his son and has a right to do so and that he will continue treating me like crap whether i like it or not. legally yes he has a right, but honestly how does he just go on with his life and treats me like a piece of turd when i carried our child for the whole pregnancy and i've done everything for the baby? he never supported me in any way... a father isnt one who visits his kid once or twice a year and sends $$$... so please don't post "he has rights" answers. i gave the baby my last name, not his. he said he cared about the baby but his actions contradict this statement. he's 26 and i'm 21. will he ever regret this? if i don't get a proper apology and he doesnt man up and repair the damage then i just don't want him to be a part of my life or the baby's. im hurting so bad... i loved this man... i never imagined he would do this to me.
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female
reader, Mirry  +, writes (20 November 2010):
I was left that way and my son is nw 4months old.i moved on and nt even a single allow hm share moments wid my son.dont waste uaself thnkng of hm.giv all to ua baby.i knw one day he wil regret God doesnt leav hs pple.mine regrets much bt i swear no 2nd chance.do that!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): If he insists on seeing the child, sue him for child support. He owes it to you. Also, try to get primary custody through the court system.
Otherwise, if you want to stay free and clear... provided you didn't put his name on the birth certificate... you can just tell him it isn't his. If the baby isn't his, he has no rights to it. Say that you don't know who the father is, but you know it's not his. Tell him that's fine by you, because the fact is, the baby is yours- you are the mother. Then deny him a paternity test, and call it a day.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): I was with my ex-boyfriend for 3 years. we were together when my daughter was born. He cheated and I got beat up. He cheated because I would not have oral sex with him. We fought over 12 years in family court and we have the biggest file in Family court. I spent thousands. Girlfriend after girlfriend tried to make it so my daughter would go live with her father. But All attempts failed. I still love the man we do not speak because he has done some horrible things to me. I had a dislocated jaw like 10 years. I tried like hell to be a family. I was raped in high school and never had sex before and had my son as a result. I was called a slut and all that by my daughters father. the other day he told me it was nice to talk to me again. I have not been with anyone since him 13 years. I hurt every day. He is swinging with a married couple (which makes me sick). You are better off leaving that guy out of the picture totally..My son's father never bothered me my daughters father did to the point no one likes to see us come in court. Please do not tell me you put him name on the birth certificate. Leave it off if its not too late. Do not communicate any more. Tell him the child is not his or your life is gonna be hell.
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A
female
reader, Sabriena14  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 I'm a strong believer that if he left just because you're pregnant he shouldn;t have rights to see the baby.
If he does see the baby then he should be in the babies life as much as the mother otherwise its still bringing the child up one sided. Does he provide financial support?
He may have been seeing someone else but did she know you were pregnant?
Sabriena
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): Who asked you to get pregnant with this guy in the first place?? Please dont say that you didnt know what an asshole this guy was...men like him dont change overnight. You're just 21, you had a baby with a jackass and then you expect him to regret it? why?When you found out you were pregnant and told him and got dumped, that should have been your signal. You keep trying to maneuver your way into his life when he clearly doesnt want you. You sent him updates, listened to all the abuses..why did you put yourself through this? You're not a kid, you were not raped by this guy and its not like you didnt know what a pregnancy was...you got into it anyway.
Dont crib or expect any apology from him. You asked for much of this nonsense.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 My father did the same thing, he is a monstrous liar and I hate him more than anything. Men like that do not have a logical conscience, they WANT you to suffer and they want you to feel such mental aggravation that you are torn and shattered. Do not let his foul words reach you. Ensure that each poisonous taunt or insult falls upon deaf ears. Your heart must be for your child and you cannot let this man ruin it. I bare my mother's surname, she struggled like you, but she raised me well. What right has he to mistreat you like this? You are the one who must choose whether or not he is a part of the baby's life, you carried it, nurtured it and by the looks of it, you are the one who will raise it. What right does he have to be a part of the baby's life? None! He left you with nothing for another woman! If the law is not on your side then a tragic injustice does haunt your country. Hopefully, you and your child will be watched over by whatever force, deity or friends and family you place faith in. If you seek love, someone to cherish you like he never could, then seek, I pray that God guides you to he who will love you and be a proud and loving father for your child.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 he certainly doesnt seem to be the sort of person who would have regrets. Does he have rights? If I were you I would find out from a reliable source just what those rights are, I would also check the same source to find out just what your rights are while at it.
I am not emotionaly involved in this, so I am able to be a little objective. If, and its a big fat IF, if he does appear to want to be involved in his child's life he will need to demonstrate that he is willing to take on a lifetime committment. If he marries his new girlfriend she too will need to demostrate that she is okay with his taking on a life time committment. Talk to a lawyer, one who deals with family law, but quite frankly I dont think he is going to be smart enough to be a decent parent, I also doubt once the lustre of having fathered a child wears off you will have to fight every inch for financial support.
I hope I am wrong.
But I do wish you and your new baby well, I wish you both a long and happy life, good luck with it all!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 I have no idea about all men in general, but this particular guy does not seem the type thas can have regrets, for having regrets you need to have a conscience and he does not seem to be equipped with one !
Forget about apologies and regrets and niceties, just chalk it up to experience and make sure you are much wiser in your future choice of partners. Just make sure that he respects the financial obligations that by law he contracted by becoming a father.
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