A
female
age
36-40,
*amanthablax
writes:Ok so i been dating a guy now for about a month, i rarely see him due to his job in the army. We started as friends with benefits, then he told me he liked me too much. I then started liking him too. He told me that it wouldn't be worth starting a relationship as he deploys in a few weeks and this is when it should be the best. But he said when he comes back from deployment and i'm still single we could maybe get together?? He drove back from london to see me yesterday and spent the night with me, the next day he was coldish with me? He didn't chat as much as usual, i usually go out with the girls clubbing and he always tells me to be careful. This night he didn't. Am i just being silly? or am i now becoming too much available and he is pulling away because of that? When he is with me, he looks into my eyes, asks me questions, kisses me on my head or hand every 10 mins and compliments me all the time. i'm confused???
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 July 2012):
 The futility of this relationship is causing you to say things you don't mean. You say you wanted to be single to play hard to get when you did want a relationship. He said he would ask you out just because that's the only way he could get sex from you. When you know a guy is up to no good (no strings attached sex), do not provide them the chase by acting not interested when you really were, just cut them loose. If sweet words is what gets him sex, then they mean nothing. It is just a form of currency.
A
female
reader, samanthablax +, writes (30 July 2012):
samanthablax is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut i was the one in the first place that tried to act not interested. He was the one that said he would ask me out properly if i didn't want to be single. ??
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 July 2012):
 He already got what he wanted from you (sex and comfort)without having to enter into a relationship, he's about to leave for a long time and I can tell you he won't be thinking much about you...why should he when he's already had the cream?
I agree with Jannie...sweet words mean very little...look at his actions...he is f**king, turning cold and running.
He has left you confused so he doesn't have to say 'actually, this is just a hump and dump...sorry'
Don't have sex with him again...then you will see what he really thinks of you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (30 July 2012):
I hope you don't use this guy as a representation of the whole gender. Being sweet to you when you are together is easy. He is not chasing you. He's basically taking advantage of the short time you have together and being sweet to you is not that difficult. He doesn't want to fall in love with you then miss you when he's away. That explains the pulling away. You shouldn't even consider him as a potential boyfriend when he already said your future with him depends on luck.
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