A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex-boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. We broke up 5 months ago (I didn't realise at the time we were breaking up). We had both mentioned at the time that we felt things hadn't been working out, but I thought we would work on things like we normally did. I asked him why he felt things were not working, and he's never replied since. It has now been 5 months since we broke up, and I really think I should be moving on by now. Yet, I am still feeling confused. One minute I feel so angry with him and then another small part of me still wants to be with him. I had thought that he would miss me enough to get back in contact but that hasn't been the case at all. I thought he was 'The One'. My ex was very family orientated, and included me in his family very quickly but now his family and friends have completely frozen me out of their lives which really hurts as I had invested a lot in becoming a part of their lives. I could have understood their response more had I become involved with another man whilst I was with my ex, but I wasn't. I take a very dim view of that sort of thing. One minute my ex and I were talking about moving in together, then next I never heard from him again. I wondered if he found someone else, although I had no concrete proof. At one point after we broke up I was almost hoping that I would find out that he was cheating on me because at least then all the bad feelings I have would be more justified in a way. I have started dating again, but my heart's not in it.My ex boyfriend's birthday is coming up soon, and I have wondered if I should send him a message saying Happy Birthday and say sorry for my part in messing things up. I have always believed that it takes two to mess things up in a vast number of cases. But, I am even questioning my reasons for doing that. Is it because I want closure, or deep down do I want to get back together with him?
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broke up, get back together, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 We all have trouble moving on. Don't worry.
A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Hi, I am going through something similar right now with my ex-bf who broke up with me for a similar reason. His friends and his family will be loyal to him even if he did wrong and if they feel sorry for you. That's how it goes. Therefore, there is no point of you trying to contact them, unless you want to be called "crazy".
I don't know if you should ask him out, but if you do he'd have the upper position. You do not want to get a 'no' and feel embarrassed and rejected all over again. If you do decided to ask him out, please let us know what the outcome is.
Another option for you would be to tell him that "Since it's over between us because this is what you want, don't contact me any more. I don't want to hear from you or to see anymore."
Then delete him from fb, msn, skype, off your phone and cut of contact with him completely.
That will force him to re-evaluate you as a gf and based on how much he cares for you, he may try to come back or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): Hi. Thank you for your answer - I am the original poster of the question. His family (i.e. brother, cousins) and friends didn't have my contact details as such but I was in contact with a few of the family/friends through social networking site/mobiles. I sent them messages but no reply came back. I just wondered if maybe they didn't like me after all, but I appreciate that ultimately that their loyalty will be with my ex. I'm just finding the whole thing very difficult to move on from.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (23 May 2010):
You want to get back together with him, and not only deep down, but on the surface of it.
Do you think he would say yes? When these things happen, one doesn't know whether to "find out for sure" or to say nothing and keep going. If you ask and he refuses again, you're embarrassed. If you don't ask, you won't know if he would have said yes. I can't know what would happen.
Maybe you can analyze yourself and see what you would prefer. I have a bad feeling about the way the family forgot about you.
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