A
female
age
41-50,
*egasqueen
writes:I've been seeing.. Well, more like a FWB to a man we'll call J for about a year and a half. I care a lot about him but our relationship has never really gotten deeper than sex. Well for J it seems. I've mentioned that I would like us to be more, but J keeps saying he doesn't want to rush into anything.. Right? Over a year and I'm rushing him. Anyhow, recently I have began seeing a man I went to HS with we'll call him P. We met up again after 15 yrs on FB. I've mentioned to J that I've been hanging out with P and he has mixed feelings about it, but doesn't tell me that he wants me to be with only him and make it official. It's been 4 months that I've been seeing P, he's very good to me and we have recently began having sex. Which is great. The best sex I've ever had. Now I'm starting to feel like I should stick with P and just let J go, but I feel like I would be throwing away over a year of my life. I worry that P will get tired of being 2nd to J.. But I also worry that I will be a FWB for another few years and get nowhere with J.. Please help.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 December 2011):
 Honey if J wanted you as more than a handy penis holder you would already be that more...
dump him you owe him nothing...enjoy P without guilt.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): I agree with Zennith. You feel like you'd be "throwing away over a year of [your] life" if you left J now, but if you stick with him, when your FWB comes to an end (which it undoubtedly will at some point) you'll have wasted much longer than just 18 months!If P being on the scene doesn't give J the impetus to commit to you before it's too late, I don't believe he ever will. So yes, I think you should take a chance on P and let J go once and for all. You have nothing to lose. P treats you well and the sexual chemistry is great - that's already a lot to work with. Don't settle for being just a sex buddy. You're worth more than that... just ask P :) Good luck and take care x
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A
female
reader, Zennith  +, writes (27 December 2011):
am in the same situation as you, fwb for 1.5 years. you are just convenient for J, and if he there is a chance of him realising your worth, it will only be when you leave him.
You have a real chance of happiness with P, take it. J's not going anywhere anyway.
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