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Do I tell my straight friend I'm gay?

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 January 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 January 2009)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

How do I tell my straight friend (Im NOT attracted to her in any way) that Ive known since we were both in the first grade that Im gay?

Shes a good friend but we have never discussed r/ships or dating, shes never dated anyone,noone, yes she is straight, she often talks about cute guys and I know she would like a b/f, shes shy and too quiet to ever do anything.

do i tell her? im not in a r/ship, I think she kind of knows sometimes anyhow, dont want to ruin the friendship.

View related questions: shy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

It can be done. Odds are, if you've been friends for a long time she probably knows already. The pressure you're feeling is that many people still self-segregate along these lines. Straights hang with straights, gays hang with gays. It doesn't have to be that way... your friendship doesn't have to end. A friend (gay) and I (straight) have a blog all about maintaining a straight/gay friendship, and offer advice to many others with questions like yours. Check it out at

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (18 January 2009):

Griffo agony auntI've got a mate who went through what you did with me. We are only mates and he was gay but never told me because he was afraid he would think id get phobic.

Eventually he told me, we went to a cafe had a coffee and a chat. Poor thing, he was really worried and I said don't worry mate its all ok, but im not interested in men. I like women. He respeced that, i respected him and we are still mates today.

Im sure everything will be fine. :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009):

Ye, I remember telling my friends I was bi.... It got really uncomfortable. But after a while of me convincing them that Im not in love with them all its pretty much back to normal. But I swear some girls are really vain lol thinking every lesbian/bi person fancies em.

Sounds like you'v got a good friend there.

All the best xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009):

If she is really your friend, your orientation shouldn't matter to her.

Telling her that you are homosexual shouldn't ruin your friendship, but make it stronger.

If you are in no way sexually or emotionally attracted to her,

then your friendship should continue on regardless of what your orientation is.

It is better she find out from you personally, than from someone else.

Sexuality is a very confusing process, but it is a lot easier when you have real friend to help you through.

Best of luck, and I hope things work out with your friendship. :-)

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