A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do I start again with my ex-girlfriend? Ok, here we go - I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years about 9 months ago. I broke up with her because we fought alot about everything, but mainly because I was interested and curious about this other girl that I had met - although I never told her or anyone for that matter. After the break up I immediatly started dating this new girl. I was so frustrated with my ex and so infatuated with this new girl that I was sure that I had made the right decision. I kept some contact with my ex but not much at all. 2 months after the break up I found out that my ex had fooled around with one of my friends and thats when I noticed my feelings about everything started to change. I couldn't believe she could do something like that to me, but at the same time I shouldnt have been that upset because we were not together. After things settled down - I am no longer friends with him, but my ex and I started to talk more and more often. About 2 or 3 months ago my ex and I met up late one night and slept together. We both expressed strongly how wrong it was but we just couldnt stop. Since then we have agreed to try to stop talking and seeing each other so much, but it never happens. We meet for lunch on occasion and talk at least everyday. It's not right or fair to me, my ex and especially my current girlfriend - although she has no Idea. I really truely love and care for my current girlfriend very much, she is an amazing girl and has alot going for her, plus she is my same age. We hardly ever fight or argue, and she really loves me alot. But, I cant get my ex out of my head and really dont want to lose her or let her go. My ex is interested in this guy she met and wants to pursue the possibility of starting to date him, but I definatly do not want that to happen again at all. She is basically waiting on me to figure out what I am going to do, but I know she will not wait much longer. What do I do? Please help!!!Scared and so confused
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (20 August 2007):
 I think you need to let the current beau go then. And let her meet someone thats more suited to her. If the sexual chemistry isnt there, and its that important to you, which is fair enough, i wouldn't stick it out.
You know when the chemistry is good, it is good, and its important to you.
At the moment you are getting deeper & deeper into betraying everyone. If she gets on real well with your family, they will get to like her more & the other way round etc.
Hope you get it sorted though hun. Really do.
C xxxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThere is one thing that I left out about this situation. Some might think im just being preverted but I am a VERY sexual kind of guy and I believe that this is a huge HUGE part of a relationship. Physical connection is very important to me. My ex an I connected absolutly perfectly mentally and physically. I feel so close to my ex, I believe she is my best friend. I know that I can trust her and talk to her about anything. I know that I do not have that with my current girlfriend, not even close. My ex and I had am amazing sexual relationship. I wont go into detail - but EVERY aspect of sexual relationship, we had, and it was absolutly perfect. On the other hand with my current girlfriend, not so much. I feel bad but I am not as attracted to her as with my ex. We hardly ever are intimate, and when we are she had not been willing to try new things. I never initiate action with my current girlfriend - as I ALWAYS did with my ex. The sexual and best friend connection just is not there between my current girlfriend and I. This is so frustrating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for you imput. I'm just in a really tough position right now. My ex is 20 years old, she will be 21 in a couple of months. she still has alot of maturing to do. She still lives at home with her parents (as do I) and she still has 2+ years of college left. She works part time because of school and other activities that she is involved in because of school. She is very dependent on others as well as her parents financially, and she tends to act somewhat childish about alot of things. I know that it comes with the age and that will hopefully pass over the next few years. I am 23 and will be 24 a few months as well. My current girlfriend is 24, she has her own place and is 100% more independent than my ex. She also has 2+ more years of schooling but she is working on a double degree. She has a great steady job and is completely financially stable on her own. I am just so stuck because I can see and amazing life unfold for my current girlfriend - I love her family and they love me as well. My family loves her and gets along with her perfectly. She is just more involved with everyone and creates a outgoing invironment when she is around, but I just can't shake my ex. I don't want to lose her, and can't let her go. I love both of them very much, and can tell I am hurting both of them so badly.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (7 August 2007):
I think the person below is spot on.
I was wondering if your age is printed wrong on here.
C xxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): I think you and your ex sound PERFECT for each other. Leave the poor girl you're currently with out of this and get back together ASAP & watch the drama unfold.
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