A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex girlfriend broke up last year November few days after my birthday. Though the relationship lasted for just only one month but I must tell you that has been my best relationship so far. I felt love for the very first time and am sure certain attributes and qualities(physique, fun to be with and innocent heart) is so special about my ex that made me so much into her. Unfortunately the relationship ended when the love affair became grounded in my heart and I became lost in love. This was as a result of her needy and desperate boyfriend showing up suddenly and started diverting her attention thus making things difficult for me because of the influence he has(boyfriend known to the family) and won't also deny the fact that at a point too I was acting clingy and needy due to my unemployment status as at then.I was so much heartbroken and disturbed when this whole thing happened and was begging her to take me back. All to no avail. I was later adviced by friend to let her be. Actually it worked and she called me back to apologise but I was too hasty to start the relationship with her again so she dropped me finally. It was even more worse at this junction because I had to join the emotionally trauma of me looking for a job and also the break up also. Thank God for my friends they really stood by me and helped me to move on with my life.Three months(February) after the break up she dialled my number silently and hung up again. Though I was able to know that she was the one because I still have her number in my head. I deleted her number from my phone immediately after the break up to move on. I disregarded it and pretended nothing happened.Three months after(May) I bumped into her on my way back from church because we stay in the same area, I greeted her and waved at her. A month after(June) she called my number three times in a week(Monday, Wednesday and Friday) but I disregarded the call but picked it up the third time(on Friday). Immediately I picked it and said "Hello" she didn't respond though I was hearing her breathing at the other end of the call. After saying "Hello" three times I just hung up and moved on with my life. A month after(July) again I bumped into her and she called my name and I also waved back at her. Three months after(October) she passed the front of my parent house unknowing to her that it is my parent house because I was there as at the time she passed. I was at the front of my parent house dressed casually which I was not comfortable putting on when she bumped into me(T shirt on a short with a pair of bathroom slippers). Immediately I sighted her I became emotionally unstable/surprised/unhappy/uncomposed/shy seeing her again and so as not to spoil the whole thing because I don't want to open up any conversation between her and me I just WALKED INTO THE HOUSE like a metro train though I didn't run. When she left I began to ponder on my reaction whether what I did was right or wrong. Later I justified myself that since my reaction was because of the pain that I went through when she left me I think am not at fault. Since then her feelings started growing in my heart again and beginning to love her again.Though don't know the taught that will be going on in her mind when I entered into my parent house that day like a metro train on sighting her because we both saw each other eyeball to eyeball.Please help me. I still love her and I know any moment from now we can stilI bump into each other again. . I have used that time frame of not talking to ourselves after the break up to know what went wrong and I think where I got it wrong was that I started acting needy at a point because of my jobless status then. I thank God I've fixed that now but I want her back. All the same I still believe things shouldn't have gone that way.I am begining to be sick again emotionally with the guilt of the way I acted when she passed my house. My birthday is in few weeks time now and its bringing back the sweet memory of the time we spent together on that day. Please I want you to help me with this question so that will be able to address this issue to my advantage.These are the questions;1. Is that with all this my explanation do I still stand a chance winning her back to me? 2. If yes how do I go about it? 3. Hope my reaction to avoid and ignore her by walking inside my house that day won't spoil my attempt to have her back process?4. How can I turn the table around and neautralise that my reaction to her that day so that it won't spoil the process of having her back?5. I hope I haven't lost my position of strength to her with that my reaction?6. What is the best way to address this situation of mine for me to have her back without her taking me for granted or wanting to snub me back in return?Thanks. I await your reply and the response of readers as soon as possible. I've reversed my decision against you publishing it. I want people to advice me!
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affair, broke up, ex girlfriend, heartbroken, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your @ the first person to commment. Will do as u just said. So grateful. I still welcome more comments.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2015): well you seem to suffer from anxiety and you certainly take things to heart.
You tend to pick holes in yourself instead of seeing that some circumstances are just the result of prior connections and not of your making.
Consequently you take things far too seriously when others would just brush them off.
For example you worry about wearing pyjamas on the verhanda.
In some cultures this is just unimportant.
It is how you act that is important.
You are spending your days in suspense over this girl but it is unnecessary as she just wants to be friends.
I dont think the relationship will xtend much further than friendship because you have already been broken up for a year.
I think it would be good if you could think of her calmly like you would a sister and concentrate on developing an interest in someone who can reciprocate the romantic intensity you feel.
However if she makes a direct approach to you it may be best not to get upset if it doesnt last for long.
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