A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I was wondering if anyone can give me an insight on why I feel like this? Me and my hubby of 2yrs dnt really have sex, probably about 3/4 times a month if that. He wants it but I dont.Ever since I found out he cheated on me with my best friend (3yrs ago) iv not been interested in sex. I dont know if they physically cheated but they certainly thought about it. The thing is, sex isnt important to me anymore, my sex drive is none existant, I could happily do with out it and this is coming from someone who used to want it daily!We have a toddler so another reason is im always drained of energy to have sex. Do you think my lack of interest in sex is because I cant forgive him? Is my rship doomed? I know its affected me more than I realised but is my body telling me I cant forgive? Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2012): Yes it is. What he did was a massive betrayal. So it is no wonder, physically you are unable to be attracted to him. Anything that hurts you, you will be wary of getting too close to again, emotionally or physically. That is human nature. It takes time and a lot of hard work...on both sides...to rekindle trust and sexual attraction. Maybe you could try making time for some couples counselling. It will help if you both try and understand the other a little better. Communication is key to undoing the damage that has been created but dont for a moment think you are wrong because you cant feel any physically attraction towards him right now. Your reactions are perfectly normal and not of your doing, so go easy on yourself.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 October 2012):
 I think your marriage IS doomed if you two don't work this out or end it.
A toddler can be a "bump" in the amount of sex, but as a mother of 3 kids, it's never really slowed us down much.
Have you been to your doctor and checked if the lack of libido doesn't steam from a drop in hormones?
And if you check out all fine, then I would suggest you two find a marriage counselor and work on the marriage.
I understand that being cheated on is devastating, but withholding sex 3 years later isn't going to fix anything.
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