A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I don't know why I'm writing this - I'm not paying too much attention to what I'm writing, it's just kinda spewing out.I don’t know what I should do, or if I feel up or down about what I am these days. I don’t feel as depressed as I used to (used to suffer from it a bit, although never officially diagnosed or anything), but think I’m drinking quite a bit, almost out of habit. Never to the extremes that it interferes with my work or daily routine, but I know at the weekend I do like a drink. But never to anything that seems extreme - I fall asleep or just stop drinking after 3/4 drinks.I used to get depressed a bit, that I was surfing through life. I might have aspergers, I don’t know, but I’ve never been good around people and like habbits, routines, a little OCD. I've never been good at expressing my feelings, to the extent where everyone thinks I might be a robot. I was single until I was about 30, had a two year relationship that ended badly as my girlfriend seemed to take advantage of my weaknesses. I was young and naive at the time and things went too far, too soon, too quickly until I was ready. I had a couple of short term relationships since, but have been single for a couple of years, yet I kind of yearn for that kind of companionship.Dates I’ve had since have just ended up in rejection. Which makes me more and more nervous to venture down that route. I don’t know if I’m lonely or just a loner. I haven’t seen my friends for a couple of years now - I just felt that they weren’t interested in me anymore, that I had nothing to give. I don’t like myself too much, so why would anyone else? I guess I’m writing as I’m not sure how I feel. I feel difficult to convey these feelings (if I have any) to anyone really. Maybe I’m just venting. Do I need help or am I just complaining? Maybe I’m writing here because I feel the need to vent these thoughts or something. What do you think?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 January 2016):
 Sounds like you have got yourself stuck in this routine and now it is getting you down. I am glad you don't feel as bad as you have done in the past but am guessing you know the signs off when you are feeling depressed.
If you don't feel like your drinking is a problem then that is okay, but if a small part of you thinks that it might be well then I suggest that you give it up. Not only will it make you feel healthier, it will lift the depression.
Go out and get some exercise, meet new people, make new friends. Pick up some new hobbies. Get back in contact with your old friends.
You need to take control off your life. Maybe take a trip to the doctor if you feel that you need to be assigned to a mental health clinic.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2016): Hey hun I didn't like to read and run, though your posts not easy to answer, as you appear to be writing a diary/ journal entry rather than asking a question, which is ok btw. We all reach points in our lives where we wish things were different but the thing that matters is what you do about it. If you feel bad or unsettled then maybe you would benefit from some counselling therapy. If you think that it's because you have lost sight of what matters then maybe try mindfulness? As for friends and relationships , ask yourself do you want them?if the answer is yes then get out there! Join a club, get talking ,it's not easy but if you want it badly enough then you'll do it! Being stuck in a rutt doesn't have to last forever but only you can get yourself out of it! Good luck poppy x
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