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Do I need a friend like this? How do I drop her?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Friendship dilema.

Hi. I have been friends with a couple of girls for 20 years. They are mostly fun to be with - but one is a bit more cheeky, gobby and rowdy than the other. When we are out she always think she knows it all, tries to show you up or put you down. I know it is all part of her nature - but I'm getting to the stage in my life where I'm thinking do I really need a friend like this?

Anyway, I would really like to drop this friend in question - but havn't really the courage to tell her what I think. I'm not the sort that stands up for myself and also - she is very friendly with my other friend so if I drop one will I have to drop the other?

Are there any ways of getting out of this situation? I was going to unfriend her on FB - but then I will need to explain my actions for this also...

I would like to hear from other people in a similar situation and what they have done to sort it out. Thanks for any advice.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yes but Confused Chick - there are friends AND friends. This particular friend I just meet socially for a drink or to see a show etc etc - if I'd just lost my job or locked myself out the house or had a car crash she wouldn't be the type of friend who would come running round concerned she would just say something like "Ooh what are you like??" showing no concern, just ignorance.

I have mentioned in the past that she can be very bossy and mouthy but she seems to like that side of her!! This is why I think it best I try to drop her.

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A female reader, 1ConfusedChick United States +, writes (31 January 2013):

Let me get this straight, you've known AND been friends with this person for 20 years; and you'd rather just let that go than say anything that might help your friend see a problem and possibly address it so that you could continue your friendship? I think this says more about you than her....some friend....she might be better off without you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks - I was thinking of doing it subtly like that - but we usually all see each other about once a month - so it's gonna be hard thinking of an excuse each month - but I will give it a go!

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (30 January 2013):

person12345 agony auntEverytime she wants to hang out, say you are busy. Don't tell the other friend, just only hang out with her alone.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (30 January 2013):

kenny agony auntYou said when we are out she try's to show you up or put you down, simple, don't go out in social settings with her anymore. just arrange to go out with your other friend and don't include the other one. In life friends come and go, you have realised you don't need a friend like this, it happens. Just don't include her anymore, in time she just be an old friend who you have not seen in ages.

Good luck

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