A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey I'm not sure what to write here but here it goes, I was with a guy for 6 years and got pregnant shortly after this he left me for a teenager and ignored me and his child I would text, got noting. I did every now again drop him a line to tell him about his daughter but got no respond well anyway it seems he left the girl after three years that he dropped me for and started dating a girl from the town I lived in. He was only with her 8 weeks and got her pregnant, so now I don't know what to do because I do want my child to know thier sibling and I have no issues with the girl who appears lovely. I did contact him to wish him luck but again no response what worst I'm the only person with a creche(nursery) in the town so she be trying to get the child in with me. If I don't take the baby I be done for discrimination, so what do I do, do I contact her or how do I handle this I want to make it clear I have depersonalization disorder so i have no feelings towards my ex my main issue is my child attend creche so her father will see her when picking up baby
View related questions:
my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (10 June 2016):
 Stop messaging him; he's not interested, but do get child support, if you don't already.
Personally, I think you just look after her child because that's what your business is for. As for your children meeting, that needs to be talked about between you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2016): You are wasting your time contacting the sperm donor of your child. His silence is a blunt and obvious message. He doesn't care. You cannot force love out of a detached and calloused sperm donor. I will not even show him the decency of calling him the father of your child. He only provided sperm.
The children getting to know each other is not your decision alone to make. The other mother may not even want anything to do with you, or your child. Your persistence may be intimidating. If she makes a move in that direction, you're already there. Just be receptive. The children are too young to know or care at this point.
You are inadvertently stalking the guy. Please stop. All you need from him is child-support. That's not for you, it is for the child. Don't push information about the child in his face. He ignores you, and that rejection will erode your self-esteem, as Myau says.
Don't pretend you don't care or you wouldn't have continued attempting contact.
The baby is totally oblivious to his existence. He is nothing but a stray mongrel dog humping every female in his
path, and leaving kids behind. Your child is better off not knowing him. If someday they should meet, that's between the two of them. The child should be much older if that happens. If he doesn't care now, he won't then. Karma will handle all that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 June 2016):
 I agree with Myau
STOP contacting the guy with updates, he obviously doesn't care. And I don't think he deserves to get the updates or contact with your child. Yes, he fathered your child but he did nothing after that. I presume you don't get any child maintenance?
Her baby is innocent in all this, and the mom might need someone to look after her baby while she works. I DO find it odd that she contacted you and didn't look for other arrangement for the care of her baby. I know, I would.
As for the kids getting to know they are half-sibling. I think that is something that isn't important at their age. But that IS something you would have to talk to the other mom about. IF she wants that for her child or not, if she does good, if she doesn't - respect it.
And as for your ex, are you even sure he is in the other baby's life?
Does she know about you and your child?
I would just look at the situation from a professional standpoint. You run a creche, she needs her baby looked after.
...............................
A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (10 June 2016):
 I dont see what choice you have here.
I hope you have moved on and met someone new. I would advise you to stop texting him though, its bad for your self esteem.
...............................
|
