A
female
age
41-50,
*cb
writes:Hi there, I have been in a relationship with same guy for several years. He just recently started opening up to me about how he is interested in being with another male, as well as wanting golden showers. He has become obssesed with anal sex.It doesn't even seem like he is interested in me anymore. He is turning 30, could it be like a mid life crisis thing, should I go with it, and let him experience being with another male. I really do Love him and we are engaged, and I don't want to hold him back on his fantasies but I just don't know what to think anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009): One concern not mentioned here is that you will be vulnerable to STD's, HIV and being used.
This doesn't sound healthy to me at all. You aren't holding him back on his fantasies, fantasy is just that, it stays in your mind not acted upon.
Your fiance is a homosexual. He just hasn't' come out of his closet. Any time there there is more than one penis in the room during sex, it is considered a homosexual act.
He wants to engage in homosexual behavior. This guy will more than likely leave you for a man when he comes to accept his own sexuality.
It's great to love and care about him, it is another to go there with him and get yourself hurt in the process.
It is time for a reality check here. This is no mid life crisis. Mid life crisis does not involve a change in sexual orientation....it is about the loss of youth and living your dreams of fame and fortune.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 June 2009):
 30 is too young for midlife crisis.
Tell me this, are these the action you imagined of your future husband when you were younger? Are these the actions of a man in love with his bride to be?
Is this what you want for the rest of your life? And if he already shows little intrest in you now, it is hardly going to get better, especially if you allow him to give attention to others.
Yeah yeah, you love him. So, what do you love?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009): I think you need to decide where *your* comfort zone is, and go from there. For example, where do you stand on the issue of fidelity? Same sex or not, he'd still be having sex with someone else. Is he really asking you for an open marriage, or is it that he wants the opportunity to scratch an itch, but expects you to be faithful?
It's great that you are having these honest, open discussions before you get married. If I were in your shoes, though, I'd be seriously wondering if this guy is someone with whom you can be happily married for the long run.
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