A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started dating this man back in August. Things were going really well. He seemed to genuinely care for me. We spent a lot of time together at first. Going out to eat, doing fun things, and he even took me away for a long weekend. Well needless to say I fell head over heels for this guy. Heres where it goes sour. I started pressuring him to put a "title" on our relationship. I approached him 3 times. The first2 times he was patient with me and told me he didnt want to rush things. The 3rd time I blew up at him and attempted the "breakup" tactic. That completely blew up in my face. He told me I had pushed him too far and that he no longer wanted to be with me. I completely overreacted and tried everything to take it back. I begged, pleaded, apologized a million times, and since he wouldnt talk to me in personI blew his phone up with a million text messages pages long. This only made me seem desperate, psychotic, and annoyed him. He got to the point where he started ignoring me completely (unless it had to do with a prior business arrangement we had. I sold him an ATV which he is still currently paying off). I tried backing off and it started to work. He became more open and friendly again. And then I ruined that by being "clingy" yet again. This has been going on for a month now. Back and fourth. I'm pretty sure he's just done with everything now. He has told me to leave him alone unless it has to do with the ATV. We've gotten into multiple arguments via text. And the eorst part is because of my job I'm forced to see him at least 3times a week. Sometimes he's friendly. Other times he's cold and ignores me. I guess I'm asking what do I do? Do I leave him alone for good? Have I done too much damage? And is there a way to win him back over? If we could just get back to where we started before I started pushing him I think it would be awesome again. Please help.
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (3 December 2013):
 Sadly, it sounds like this relationship is largely over. From what I make of it, it sounds like you pushed him into a corner to make a decision on how far he wanted to take the relationship and instead of submitting he realized your tactic and decided to move on.
At this point, I imagine he feels pressured and he probably saw how you argue to get your way. Think about it if the situation were reversed... how would you react if he wanted to do "A" and you said no, and he pressed on trying to convince you to do "A". I bet you'd find that a turnoff too.
The only way to salvage this is to let it go, be kind but no obsequious. You may also find it helpful for apologizing -- assuming you truly feel apologetic and realize the error in your ways (and you aren't doing it to get him back) There may be a slim (but don't count on it) chance of him coming back.
If he sees you are moving on and happy with your life, he may try again, but my guess and my bet is that it is over and your best bet is to try again with another man and let the relationship happen naturally instead of forcing the issue.
Eddie
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 December 2013):
 I think you have lost your chance with that guy for good, so respect that fact that he's already turned you down and leave him be.
If you WANT a "title" in a relationship BE upfront about it and don't SLEEP with a guy til it's settled or it will be rather blurred lines, which many guys seem quite OK with.
You didn't respect this guy the FIRST time he said, he wanted to take it slow nor did you respect him AFTER you blew his phone up with apology texts, because you went right at it again. Honestly, I think he's had enough.
Be polite and professional at work, but leave him be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2013): You can't win him back over, as you've illustrated time and time again your attempts to be "winning" are extremely annoying to him. Just be friendly. Wait. Leave him alone. If he gets enough time and likes you (apart from the annoying things) he'll likely come back. And when if does, make sure he sets the pace.
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