A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm going away for the weekend with my boyfriend. He told me to bring a pen to write postcards with. He has a female friend whom he used to be in love with before he met me, and I know he will want to send her a postcard, he sent her one a year ago when we went away together before.I have always felt jealous of this friend, I feel threatened by her because she is extremely pretty and he used to have feelings for her. My boyfriend is aware of how I feel. He says he doesn't have feelings for her anymore, but I still feel jealous of her, and it annoys me that she always gets her way whenever they meet up and he is always doing things to try and please her. Like, I frequently get the bus to see him, but when she meets up with him she has to be picked up. And she seems very uncomfortable about the fact that I'm his girlfriend, and always looks away whenever he kisses me, which makes me wonder if she is starting to have feelings for him now. Which I suppose is another reason I see her as a threat.I don't want him to send her a postcard. It's our romantic break, and I don't want to feel like she's a part of it too. So my question is: if we are on a romantic weekend break, just the two of us, do I have a right to ask him not to send a postcard to the girl he loved before me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 You are jealous? Because she gets a postcard and you get to actually be there on vacation with this guy?
Again.. you are on a romantic weekend, just the two of you.. and he feels the need to inform this friend of this, just smudge it right up there in her face... that you, and him, are on a romantic vacation together.
Don't you think it would be the other way around? Oh please, if this woman has the slightest interest in him I would be more inclined to think she is the jealous one.
If you really want to get into it though, as I can see how this could be an annoyance (after all you still want his undivided attention), ask him why he wants to send her a postcard. If it is because he wanted to write secret love letters to her I believe he would have kept that hidden from you and not announced it so obviously.
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