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Do I go meet my grandmother knowing my mother may get upset?

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Question - (15 April 2019) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 April 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I have never met my mum's mum and she recently sent me a message saying to come to see her in her home city , I'm not sure if I should , as my mum hasn't seen her in over twenty years and I don't even know her and if my mum finds out I feel as thought she will be hurt and upset with me , also if my brother and sister find out they may tell my mum . I know that my mum and hers never had a good relationship but if I go to see her more harm may come out of the situation and if I don't go I may regret it .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2019):

Your mom may have a good reason why her mother is not in her life.It may have been to protect you.You do not know her she is a stranger to you.Be loyal to your mom I am sure she has a very good reason.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (16 April 2019):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntAsk your mum what happened, if you don’t already know. You don’t need her permission, but it would be inconsiderate not to tell her first.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntWhy not talk to your mom first?

I don't think you NEED your mom's permission to go see your grandmother, but I think hiding it would be a BAD idea. Why not talk?

I get that sometime things happen in families and they cut ties, but unless there was abuse, neglect or violence the KIDS are usually the ones who miss out on this person in their lives.

So, talk to your mom. See what she thinks. Listen to her and then make up your own mind. If you go see your grandmother, why would it cause drama?

You can ALWAYS tell your grandmother that you don't want to hear negative things about your mom (if she brings up anything), but you would like to get to know HER.

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