A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:here is my situation; my boyfriend just broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago. we were together for 7 months, and prior to making our relationship official, he knew that i was in the process of ending a long distant marriage, and that i did have an affair with a friend of my ex husband's who happened to be in a relationship with kids. at times he would ask me about the affair, and i was open and honest with him and it seemed to settle his internal conflict. in december, things started to get rockier. he said as his love for me grew, so did the hate. we went to counselling and that seemed to clear the problems and we were back on track. then he said he couldn't deal with it and broke it off; then said he wanted to make it work; then broke it off one last time. we said we both wanted to be friends and we have hung out whenever possible. on sunday we went to the movies and we has an un-prevoked 'moment' as we called it. we cuddled and enjoyed being close to one another. that night we went our separate ways. last night he was listening to my mp3 player that i happened to leave behind when i moved out and there is a song on there that reflects where i was in my life before we met. after that he said he came to the conclusion that for 110%, we would not get back together. i love him deeply and i've been fighting for him this whole time. my question is: do i continue to fight for what my heart wants, or do i just let him go?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (8 February 2007):
 If you love him then fight for him! Tell him it was in the past and you were younger then. You're older and wiser and KNOW what you want in life now. You're not proud of what you did in the past, you were confused and your marriage wasn't going well. He's got to be able to trust you again.
You need to let him see that he's the most important person in your life now and you would NEVER do anything to hurt him and you'll have to mean that! He's probably frightened to fall madly in love with you and you do to him what you did to your husband... have an affair, so you need to make a promise to him that you would never do that.
Send him a card, tell him how much you care about him. Let him see you love him more than anything. Even send him some flowers to see you're serious! :o)
Eve
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