A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Do you think its a bad sign if the person you are dating never commits to plans?OK, so I'm not a kid anymore, I'm in the later part of my 20's ... dating should be easier, more straight forward right?Well, I met this girl about a month ago who makes me feel like I'm in 7th grade again .. butterflies, weak in the knees, can't talk right around her ... all those good things that I haven't truly felt in years. Love at first site may not truly exist, but this is the closest thing to it I have EVER experienced in my life! If this girl said "lets run away to Mexico and get married" I'd be trading in my dollars for pesos in FIVE minutes! Problem is I have NO clue how she really feels about me. We had a heart to heart talk about a week ago where she SAID she really likes me and she see's long term potential, but her actions kind of speak louder than words and worry me a little.For example, we've been on about 6 or 7 dates and haven't kissed. I'm starting to feel as if she purposely is dodging the opportunity. She'll hug me but have her head turned, and then quickly almost run away afterwards like "can't kiss meeeee, I'm the gingerbread girl! tee hee!" (sorry, I'm kind of crazy). Like she'll have a big smile and everything, but it seriously is almost like she's running away after we hug. When we go on dates, they are always the type of dates that leave out kissing opportunities (ie bowling, ice skating, a concert). So of course, I look up stuff online like "signs someone isn't really into you" and see one of the big ones is failure to make concrete plans.She never makes plans with me. She always says "lets just play it by ear" and then that day will say "what are you doing this evening?"She never calls or texts me, I always have to call her. I don't want to sound arogant or anything like that, but I'm used to having girls act a little more interested, especially at this point one month into things. She doesn't act excited about me, even though she says she is. So my question is two part. A.) Should I be concerned at this point. B.) Can I believe those internet dating advice columns that say things like "if a girl avoids making plans she doesn't like you" and C.) Should I put more worth into what she tells me, or how she acts around me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (6 March 2009):
 Yeah! I am glad this is working out for you. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk she really likes me, wew, no more worries.
Turns out she was trying to "play it cool" because she was scared of scaring me off. Now that ice is broken and everything is going amazingly wonderfully good!
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A
male
reader, philipgifts +, writes (4 March 2009):
 Me personally I dont like to talk on the phone,b/c it takes to much time.Maybe she thinks the same.First question,has she kisses a guy yet,or is she a vergen.Go on a picknick or a walk through the park to see if you can kiss her there.You could watch a scarry movie at home with her and cuttle,it may lead to a kiss or something more.You could just ask her about why she hasn't kissed you,over coffee at a star-bucks.She could just move slow through all her relationships,tell her I just want a kiss for now,for now that is.Tell her I'm not asking to jump into bed with you yet just a kiss to confirm you still want to be in this relationship with me,and to confirm your true feelings that you said are there.Another thing a kiss may happen,more in a homely enviornmet where theres just you and her.She may just feel unconfortable to kiss in public, a foebea,or her familys up bringing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): Maybe she is waiting for you to make a move. When she hugs you with her head turned, gently turn her face towards you by placing your hand on her chin. Gently, and lovingly kiss her. If she responds, give her a more passionate kiss. If she pulls away...leave it at that give her a big smile, and give her more time.
I garauntee she will be thinking about that kiss and wanting more, if she sees you as "long term material!"
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (28 February 2009):
First, actions do speak louder than words. The fact that she is avoiding intimacy in the form of kissing after so many dates is a little concerning. Also, if she can not make advanced plans, maybe she is keeping her options open. I think another heart to heart is in order.
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