A
male
age
30-35,
*h1p01
writes:So I was just wondering if y'all though I did the right thing. Me and my gal have been getting closer and closer every time we are together. We do not have sex but we do fool around a bit, she lets me go farther with her than she lets herself go with me though. That fin though, I understand we have only been together about a year and she is a virgin and im her first real BF. However she is really nervous about getting pregnant and thinks about it a lot and I believe that is why she is a bit hesitant with the whole intimacy thing. So in an attempt to let her know that I will always be responsible and safe and that we will never do anything that could get her pregnant without protection I made up a box for both her and I to keep at our homes/dorm rooms that included a box of condoms, lube, a small vibrator "egg", massage oil, pregnancy tests, and a plan b pill just in case. The point of the box was to contain everything we may need to be intimate safely and to deal with any accidents that could happen. She said it made her feel good that I was so thoughtful. so my question is this, was this a good idea or do you think I really made her feel a little awkward/pressured? I wasn't trying to suggest we should have sex, just showing her that I will always be safe with her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2012): You're so sweet! Your girlfriend is very lucky to have such a thoughtful guy like you taking care of her. I don't think this is awkward at all, it's quite unusual from my perspective considering that most guys don't really care and would probably dump the girl if she didn't reciprocate his need for sex. You assuring her is probably the safest way to handle this situation. Thanks for being such a gentlemen in the bedroom :)
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 I think it was a good thing. I also think she'll ease up eventually. My last boyfriend was a virgin when I started dating him, and he was also veeery scared of me getting pregnant. He was so worried there was a point where he seriously had to consider if we should stop having sex, because the thought of me getting pregnant scared him so much. He needed us to use two forms of protection at all times before he felt comfortable having sex.
At first that was fine, because I had to go on some medication that required me to use two forms of protection anyway. But after I was done with that medication I wanted to drop the condoms and just use the birth control pill (safer and more comfortable). It took him several months to be okay with that idea. But then eventually he was fine with it.
He actually got so comfortable about sex after a while that we ended up having to get the morning after pill a couple of times because we got carried away in the moment (I had some periods where I had a break from the pill and we needed to use condoms.. but we were just too horny and carried away with the moment).
So I think your girlfriend will probably ease up as well and get more comfortable about things eventually. In the mean time, tall about protection, how they work, what is safest etc. Learn. When you are educated about sex it will not be so scary.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 July 2012):
 It was a very thoughtful thing.
If you two have discussed it (and it appears you have) then it makes sense.
Personally if she's that afraid of getting pregnant, she should go to the health clinic and discuss going on Birth Control Pills (she should be on them at least a month before the first intercourse any way)... if she's not sure about that, offer to go with her.
Did you tell her that your intent was not to pressure her into sexual intercourse? IF not, you should... make sure she knows you are waiting for her to be ready...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): I think what you did was a responsible thing, so yes...who can say doing something responsible isn't the right thing to do? Maybe the timing was wrong though. If she's not ready for sex, then do nothing to give her the impression that you are trying to bring the occasion forward. Also having items such as condoms, after pills, pregnancy tests etc, will make it seem to her that there is a BIG risk of accidents happening and that will make her worry and without a doubt withdraw from the subject even more.Keep in mind too that she hasn't even had basic sex yet so having a sex toy, lubrication and massage oil at the ready will make her feel uncomfortable I would imagine, as that's like saying you're expecting her to be ready for different, more exciting sexual activities right away. Keep the box and stuff, but maybe put it somewhere she doesn't know and is unlikely to find it accidentally, that way its out of sight and out of mind, BUT she knows you have all the precautions covered.
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A
female
reader, Shawtyinlove +, writes (9 July 2012):
 i think you did the right thing. however showing her you are safe and you are prepared might have triggered that you want sex though. so talk to her and let her know it wasn't about sex. you were just suggesting that if you two were ever to go that far. there would be nothing to worry about.
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A
female
reader, JULIE MIKE  +, writes (9 July 2012):
that is so nice,thoughtfull and also being a good boyfriend and it shows you care,,otherwise if she would feel pressured she'd have told you because as you said she found that to be an amazing thing to do.u did a good thing that actually shows you care.
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (9 July 2012):
 What you did, in my opinion was very sweet and thoughtful. You should be happy with it. It was a very good idea! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): You sound like a very sweet guy. More guys should think like you! Obviously that was very thoughful and considerate, and it looks like you are on the right track. Just keep being supportive and passionate and everything will work out. Then when the time is right, the lovemaking will happen.
To answer your question, yes it was a good idea. Always communicate though... and if there is ever a problem or concern, I think the two of you should be able to talk it out and find the solution.
Best of luck! :)
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