A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm going to ask your indulgence in posting this question since I had spoken of it a while back. I visit London twice a year to see family and friends. I go to a local Church of England service when there. In October I noticed a man (also English) who I think had started attending more recently.After the service I introduced myself, told him I am from the U.S. and spoke a little about the church I am active in here. He told me he used to live in the US (in a city about two-three hours from me) and had returned to the UK after 9/11. He has an ex-wife and son (don't know his son's age) and wants pretty badly to return to the US to live. He also is seeking volunteer work in the church. He's semi-retired.To make a long story (relatively) short, we talked on two Sundays (both times I started chatting, but he didn't seem anxious to bring the conversation to a close. You can usually tell when a person is interested - or not - to talk to you). Our contact struck me as very pleasant, though I'd say we were both a bit reserved. Since he expressed interest in church stuff, I offered to send the link to my parish when I returned (almost a week later) to the U.S. and we exchanged emails.When I got back I had a lot to catch up on, but found he had sent me a message after church that same day. He said "it was nice to meet you at St. Dunstan's Church", then "Hello Mary this is Dave, we met again today at St. D's. Just a line to let you know my email and that I look forward to hearing from you soon. Its good to hear something of the church in the U.S. Have a safe flight back on Friday, Best wishes, Dave" It was almost three weeks before I did send the link and though my email was friendly, it was just basically sending the information. A friend made the comment that "You didn't say you were looking forward to hearing from him." True. It was more business-like. Therefore, after more than two weeks passed without a response, I wrote once more, wishing him season's greetings and telling him a little about activities here, and asking what his plans are for Christmas, would he perhaps see his son, etc. I ended by saying that I too thought it was nice to meet and would very much enjoy hearing from him again.That was a week ago, and I will wait to see what happens.What I'm wondering now is this: Maybe he wasn't all that interested since it was me who initiated the conversation. On the other hand, he couldn't possibly have forgotten we had exchanged emails that morning at church, when he sat down later that Sunday to write me the email I quoted! I'm very busy myself, and we hardly know one another. Did I go too far in sending the second email? I did wonder why he didn't acknowledge receiving the link, at least. After all, he could simply if not interested, sent a quick "thanks for sending the information" message...... I know only too well how easy it is to get caught up in all kinds of activities and INTEND to get in touch - eventually. As mentioned it was just about three weeks before I responded to begin with.Well, if I don't hear I just might - in another month or so - check in with the minister there (who I know quite well) to ask if Dave is still going there and mention something of this ---- oh, I'll have to think of a way to ask without being intrusive. The long and the short of it is I might hear, or might not, and if not, I'll accept it.Sorry this is so long!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOlderSister,
Thanks for your response! I realize the distance and am interested in a friendship more than anything else. It would be good to have someone to talk about spirituality with and "English vs American" stuff with. At this point more of a pen pal.
I live in DC; his ex & son are in NYC. Not an insurmountable distance if he were to be here in the NY area and wanted to meet. Even better if he SHOULD succeed in moving to the U.S. Meantime, since I do go to London at least twice a year, there might be an opportunity to become better acquainted.......
Since being widowed ten years ago, I have dated numerous others and been in one relationship for a year, and "transferred" with a local man from bf/gf to a platonic friendship (there were too many issues involved with the local man, even though he's a nice guy). I do not intend to go back to online dating! Been there, done that. If I do happen to meet someone really compatible that would be different.
Does anyone else have any perspective? How about Caringguy - if you are online???
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