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Did I go too far in agreeing to a threesome? What if my husband cheats?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 October 2005) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 May 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

I have been in relationship for 6 years now, have 2 children together.

I made a mistake and agreed to have a threesome with a stranger (woman) but he never had intercourse with her. That was over 3 months ago. We thought it would spice up our relationship but my husband wants another one. I said no, and he finally said OK. I found him in strip bar with bunch of friends and he had just finished a lap dance. I am scared he might go that next step and cheat on me! I am lost thinking the worst and wondering what alse has he been up to. What do I do?

View related questions: lapdance, threesome

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007):

Hey. I had one with my husband about 2 years ago and it affected me, but we are over it now. The only thing that bothered me the most was watching my husband having sex with another woman, the rest was fun. I still don't have the fear that he is going to cheat on me and I never will. It was something we talked about and decided to do together. I think if you are open about these things, then it will go smooth and according to plan, but if you leave important details out (like he can't have sex w/her!) then your bound to have probs in your relationship. I am even willing to do it again if my husband is not going to have sex with the other woman!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2005):

Hi A female point of view here which differes greatly from those above. Whatever you do DONT GO TO STRIP CLUBS or any of the other rubbish demanded. If you expect him to be faithful demand this. If he doesnt WANT to do this then hes not really worth having anyway.Who wants a guy who is not commited enough to keep his wanger in hs pants (even with your permission)????? Plenty of other fish in the ocean....and Barramundi not sharks like him

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A reader, pops +, writes (4 October 2005):

Have you considered spicing up your sex life at home? How about doing a strip for him at home some night, music and all? Don't know how it is done? Go to a strip club with a friend and watch and ask questions. The girls may even be able to refer you to a local dance instructor that teaches the art of stripping to housewives like you. Guys go to clubs to fuel their fantasies, and their fantasies involve other women when the one at home has a long list of don'ts and won'ts when it comes to sex. Sex is about pleasuring your lover, not about you. But it has to be the same for both lovers. and each of you have a job of teaching your lover how to pleasure you. And each of you have the responsibility of listening and learning and then doing what your lover likes and pleasures him/her. That takes great communication, and its obvious that communication is not your strong suit, yet. This can change, if you work on it. He is no different than you. My second wife asked me to take her to a strip club, so she could see what the girls did. We went with another couple, and both women had a ball, and were so excited by the atmosphere, that they insisted that we take them home early. She made it very worth my while. I would not hesitate to take the woman I love to a strip club if she was interested. Ask your husband to take you.

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A male reader, Dolomite +, writes (3 October 2005):

Talk to him - explain your fears to him. A stip club is a long way from cheating (most dancers want nothing to do with the customers outside the club) and it is more likely that it was just a night out with the guys that your husband thought of as harmless. Talk to him about it, and tell him how it made you feel; if he is a good guy, he will take that into account next time he is out with the guys and either tell you where he is going, or skip that part of the evening all together.

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