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Did he tell me those things because he was drunk, or did he really mean it?

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Question - (31 August 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Please help me out here, as I'm not sure what to think. It's a little long but please bear with me, any advice helps.

On Friday night at around 12:30 I recieved a phone call from this guy that I used to see/talk to pretty regularly from October last year to January this year. After January we kind of stopped talking so much and it kind of faded, but he maintained contact via text at least once a month. In May he started hinting at hanging out. We saw each other once at a mutual friend's house after that where he hinted again that we should hang out. In July we finally got together 2 times, and he even invited me to spend time with him another time in July but I couldn't because I worked. Didn't hear from him till about 3 weeks ago, I guess on a drunken night I had called him (though he didn't pick up) but the next morning he texted me to see if everything was okay.

Fastforward now till Friday night(sorry I felt I needed to give a little background) at 12:30. I get a text from saying "Hey...". I decided not to text back right away and then 5 minutes later he called me. He was pretty wasted, and he started the conversation by saying "You are so not sober right now", which I was and I told him I was. He went on to say that we needed to talk, and then proceeded to ask me what I wanted from him. I was pretty shocked because that's the last thing I would have ever expected him to ask me, so I asked him "I don't get it, what do you mean?" To which he responded again by questioning "What do you want from me?"

I was kind of quiet and didn't really respond. He went on to say in his drunkedness, "Because to be honest, and don't get me wrong because I think you're beautiful, and I feel guilty for saying this because you're beautiful and you have a nice ass and I like slapping it, but it's just sexual. I'm just using you, because we don't talk. We don't talk. It's been what? 7 months, and nothing. We don't talk." I told him he was being disrespectful and somehow I asked "What do you want from me?" To which he said "I just want to be your friend." And I told him that that's all I wanted from him too. I was pretty angry that he said those other things though and told him that I had to go because I wasn't sure I should really be arguing with a drunk person (the conversation lasted 10 minutes.

He ended the conversation by saying, "Okay, well we should get coffee sometime."

What the heck? Why was he asking me what I wanted from him? Did he say that it was just sexual because he was angry that I didn't say anything when he asked me what I wanted from him? Or was it really true? And if it's true why would he call me to tell me that when I don't even ever call him or text him or anything? It's not like I act like I'm all that into him or anything. I don't even ever call him or text him unless he does first. Or was this whole phone call meaningless because he was drunk? I haven't heard from him since.

View related questions: drunk, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

... but bonk his brains out first . . .

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 August 2009):

Honeypie agony auntFriends with benefits? Is that what he wants? I don't know. Like Uncle Phil said, he didn't have the courage to tell you how he felt unless he was wasted.

He likes to have sex with you, but he isn't in love with you nor does he want to date you.. At least that is how it seems to me.

Sorry I would move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

I think he gathered up some Dutch courage to tell you he liked your physique which, translated, means he'd like to slip you a crippler, which he undoubtedly would if you were up for it.

I'd put the rest down to drunken ramblings.

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A female reader, countrygal462 United States +, writes (31 August 2009):

countrygal462 agony auntpersonally, you should talk to him. text or call him and say we need to talk about your phone call. put all the cards on the table no matter what kind of stress they are. just clear the air and get everything stright.

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