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Developing deep feelings and would like to make things exlusive with him

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 May 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 10 May 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met a guy on a dating site. We emailed for a month and now have been dating for 2 months. He confessed a couple weeks back that he was seeing multiple women but then it was just me and one other person but "doesn't really talk to her anymore". I didn't think that was a clear enough statement so the following week I asked him flat out if he was still seeing her and he said he wasn't and he had not gone on a date with another person for a long time at least over two weeks.

We never talked about exclusivity so I finally brought it up. We both concluded we weren't ready for commitment or anything official despite the fact neither one of us were dating other people. He stated he wanted to have the option of dating other people open even though he had no desire to do so now. I just plain hate dating so I don't want to do it while I'm seeing him.

The trouble is... I'm developing deep feelings for him and would now like to make it exclusive. We've spent every weekend together we're sexually intimate (no sex) but other than the weekend we only communicate through texts. He's taking me to NY this coming Friday so things are nice... After his comments about not wanting exclusivity I'm not sure how to bring it up again. It will be tree months soon and I'm wondering at what point should I call it quits if he doesn't mention or want exclusivity??

View related questions: no desire, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009):

I think you should bring it up again if you wnat to know for sure. But if he responds in the same way, then you might have to just accept that. Unfortunately, you can't make him have an exclusive relationship with you if he doesn't want that too.

He has been honest with you though, so I think you will need to try and accept this situation for what it is. If you can't, then you will probably have to move on, otherwise you run the risk of getting hurt. It depends on how happy you are with the situation really. Take care. x

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