| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am a 21 year old female. My libido is dead. Or at least my response to sexual stimuli.It all began after a few months of dating my now ex. Before I met him, I had many sexual urges, I fantasized and got wet, I kissed guys and got wet, I watched porn... you get my point.When I started dating him (he was my first boyfriend), I also got easily aroused. I lost my virginity to him. I really enjoyed sex with him, although at that time, I couldn't really orgasm. But he got me turned on in the blink of an eye!Then I learned how to orgasm, through masturbation. Too bad that my libido started to decrease. It was as if my sexual response had been cut. Sex didn't make me feel turned on, his kisses did nothing for me, porn did nothing for me, fantasizing, nothing. It was kind of gradual. I thought maybe it was because I was already used to him. I don't know, we broke up recently, and I think maybe if I get on with another guy I'll feel sexual again, even if just for the novelty.But then again, I still don't get turned by anything, fantasizing doesn't get me aroused, neither does porn, erotic literature, nothing! I even have dreams in which I start getting it on with hot guys, but nothing happens. I'm scared that I'll never enjoy sex again! I'm only 21!!!I can force myself to orgasm, but it's really difficult and mechanical. I want to get spontaneously turned on. I hate this. It's been like this for over 3 years. I'm ashamed to go to the doctor or therapist.
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broke up, libido, lost my virginity, orgasm, porn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): Sweetheart,
check all of your medications, if any.
Check all of you vitamins.
Any of them can be the culprit to harm you in any strange way.
Even things you eat.
Check with your doctor and make sure he does blood work to check your levels
Until you get an answer just hang in there Sweety, a lot of us have gone through that "Oh so much fun, Stage".
littebabers
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): It does sound as if the low sexual drive and low sexual activity is causing stress in your life. So, why not talk to a doctor about this? Perhaps there are treatments that could increase your sexual drive. Would you be willing to try a medical treatment to help?
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A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (20 June 2010):
 I am not sure from you answer if there is anything wrong with your libido or if you perceive as there is something wrong with it. Many of us have trouble reaching orgasm and require forplay and using hand or other type of stimulation or a specific type of position. Many of us do not get "wet" instantly or by looking at a hot guy. Most girls get wet, if they are being touched. The fact that you think about sex is showing that you probably do have a normal libido. I think that most people who have low sex drive do not really realize it. I think that you need to spice things up in the bedroom and that may help...you to fee sexy and ready for action again!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): You are probably just going through stress. Stress is a libido KILLER, even at a young age. Sex drive isn't something that you wake up with every day, like the world may make you think. Sexuality is a very powerful energy, so many things you see (TV shows, news, etc) are full of it. But with an individual, it ebbs and flows with the energies of your life. I know I sound like a holistic therapist or something, but it's true. So just give it time, give yourself time, and build up your personal energies...and the sex drive will come back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): Are you stressed out about other things in your life unrelated to sex? That can decrease libido.
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