A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a bit of a sticky situation.I recently signed up to an online dating site, having been single for too long. Now, I messaged a guy, as he was local, works in the same profession as me and looked nice.BUT I have just realised, I do actually know the guy, we share at least one mutual friend and often work in the same large company.I am now scared as hell everyone will find out im internet dating and my reputation will be ruined! What do I do? My dating profile has no photo, so he doesnt know what I look like yet....What do I do? I will be SO embarassed if everyone at work finds out about this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): BS!We live in 21st century. There is no shame in internet dating.You are attracted to him and acting immature, trying to escape a situation where you could eventually, finally get laid...Don't be scared. Your reputation is already that of someone who has been single too long. So you do internet dating. Big deal. It's not like you were fucking your boss for a raise, dating 5 men in parallel or made groupsex (not so uncommon!!!).Just be normal about it. Act normal and it will all go fine. Even if you don't like each other, it will be alright. But I think you should go with it if he's interested. You sound like you need some! :-D
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (29 January 2011):
If you're so worried about it then don't do it. You care too much about what other people think and you think they're going to react in a way that won't even happen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe he has emailed me back! eeek!
However, I don't think he has twigged we work in the same place. Now what do I do?! I dont bump into him at work as we are in different buildings and different departments. So its not like I will just "see" him by accident.
He also wants to put a face to an email....
I always was a bit concerned about internet dating and signing up wasn't my idea, but a friends christmas present to me. It isnt the sort of thing I would do on my own initative.
What do I do! I dont want to be a laughing stock.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 January 2011):
 I'd just use this information to your advantage, he's looking for love so next time you see him ask him out for coffee or a drink after work. Since you don't have a pic posted, no harm done.
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A
female
reader, Helz_Angel +, writes (28 January 2011):
This is not such an awful situation. Pinktopaz is right - he is on the site also. Think of it this way - he is lonely just the same as you, and struggling to find someone just the same as you. And there is no shame or embarrassment in that. He would have to be very immature, (not to mention hypocritical) if he found out and made a big deal out of this at work. After all, he is in exactly the same boat, and anyone he told would also realise that. Maybe try getting to know him better in the workplace. Decide if he is someone you would like to get to know - if he is, and you think something could develop, then once you feel close enough to trust him, confide in him about coincidence. No doubt you will probably laugh about it together and call it 'fate'. If you don't want things to go any further, just keep your profile without-photo, and just stop talking to him. No damage done!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am embarassed. I feel that I am a failure because I have had to resort to internet dating. Its something I never thought I would have to do and I work in a world where everyone else is married, in long term relationships and have no problems getting into them.
Being single, unwanted and now possibly being exposed as having to do internet dating would ruin me.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 January 2011):
Well he's on the dating site too, right? So I highly doubt that he's going to go around the office telling every person he comes into contact with, "Guess what happened?!? So-and-so wrote me on this dating site that I'm on! We know some of the same people too. How embarrassing! What a loser!"
If you don't have a photo on your dating profile, I highly doubt he'll really respond to you anyway. You could write him and be kind of playful about it and let him know it's kind of embarrassing but you realized that you know him...then maybe explain who you are later. If you can't go through with it, then just don't talk to him again on the website. Since you're already an acquaintance, then when you see him try talking to him more than you usually do in person.
Don't worry so much about the online dating thing. There's a lot of people doing it these days. I've used a dating website before and there were some people I would tell and others I woudn't. It's not really a big deal.
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (28 January 2011):
How will he know it is you if he never saw you. Just delete your account
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): Its likely they will if you put a photo up,but why do it if it embarrasses you?
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