A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a married woman for quite some time now, and I've come to the realization that it probably has run its course and will probably fizzle out in the not too distant future. The encounters have been mostly sexual in nature, although we have developed feelings for each other after all this time. She's in the process of making some major changes in her life, something that seems to be a recurring theme whenever she wants to run away from the status quo(she's the flight option in the "fight or flight" scenario); she immerses herself with work or another project in order to avoid her marriage, but in this case I think that the double life that she has lived with me could be a factor, or maybe even the catalyst.I'm not making any excuses for my or her behavior, but I am curious if this potential cease and desist initiative on her part will result in feeling emotions of loss as if though I'm going through a break up. I knew this day would come, and in a way I'm glad because it will allow me to move on with my life, but how does this manifest itself emotionally when you are the lover? I never expected her--not did I want her-- to walk away from her marriage. However, we have decided to end this in the past, only to rekindle the whole shenanigans again after a couple of months - I feel that this time could be the real deal.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): It's a relationship break up just like any other, so that's how it will feel like. in any break up one person is the one who initiates the break up and the other is the one who gets dumped. in this case you're the one getting dumped so you'll probably feel just like any other person who's just been dumped.
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 How does it manifest emotionally? That's kind of an impossible question to ask because people are individuals and everyone will react to breakups differently.
Just take it one day at a time.
Next time get involved with a single, available woman to avoid this problem.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): Affairs are never the "real deal", they are always just affairs.
Admit it, you got a kick out of screwing someone who was cheating on her husband, made you feel better than him at so many levels. If she ends the affair you will feel 'not as good' as you did, as he is, or as the other person she moves on to if it is another person.
Affairs are just affairs.
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