A
female
age
30-35,
*otsalove.
writes:Okay, ive been with my boyfriend for a year now. I love him more than anything and am 'head over heels' as they say. However i feel like im being cut short when it comes to sex. Im definetely an oral type of girl and i orgasm every time, dont get me wrong.. i love sex but i dont orgasm from it. We have sex and he cums every time, he knows i love oral but since we've been together i've gotten it about 3 or 4 times..and he complains i take too long to cum (about 10 minutes). However im always giving him blow jobs and getting an aching jaw in the meantime, but i love him and want to pleasure him, why cant he do the same?Does this sound selfish or am i being cut short of pleasure?
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female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (16 March 2010):
 I would insist on oral first, then sex or not at all. He is the selfish one. I recommend you buying two books. You can get them on Amazon.com. The first one is titled, "She Cums First" it's about your getting oral or clitoral stimulation first and the next book is titled, "He Cums Next" its about ways to pleasure your man after you. You can both learn ways to please each other and he will learn to take care of your needs first. Don't let him get by with that selfish BS. If you can cum with oral, you can cum with a vibrator on the clitoris. Buy one and let him watch you cum before you give him any action. You have the control, use it. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 If you think you have an issue , you should communicate with him and let him understand your feelings. I am sure you can work something out with him.He would probably be willing to do what you want or requested.
It is hard for a man to be a mind reader.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (16 March 2010):
 Yes, I believe this indicates signs of selfishness. He loves the BJs but rarely returns the pleasure, which should almost always be a two-way deal. In a twist you may find somewhat interesting, I sometimes "give" my woman oral my woman oral without expecting (or even wanting) return, but I'm now an older man. Anyway, read and consider having him read this following writing on properly and orally pleasing a woman:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-advice-do-you-have-about-giving-and.html
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A
female
reader, pandabird  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 Try doing the 69 position, then both parties are happy... And I also find I give better oral that way because I'm getting pleasure + it's one of the only positions where I can deep throat him.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (15 March 2010):
 I agree with strongfp! Pleasuring me is my husband's favorite part! To answer your question - yes youa are being cut short of pleasure. See if he can work on this.
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A
male
reader, ShrinkingHeart  +, writes (15 March 2010):
It isn't selfish its a preference, I alot of women can't orgasm from sex and while it isnt important to achieve orgasm it can help destress and make you feel alot closer.
I guess this is going to be difficult as us males have egos the size of houses, is that maybe you should say "I don't feel sexually satisfied, if you could just *insert what you want*" maybe look up different ways he can do that for you? I found my tongue would cramp after 45 mins, so I would change position.. its possible, if you like sombody enough then you should want to make them feel great.
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