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Currently involved with a great girl, constantly plagued by the thought of my ex..

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 January 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *uriousDreamer writes:

Hey everyone, I am currently 20 years young and Id really like some advice with my dilemma. Basically to cut to the chase, I think about my ex girlfriend an awful lot lately although I have been with someone for over a year now. To shed some light on what the deal was with my ex I met her through my best friend at the time who turned out to be her brother, we got together in 10th grade in may of 2006 when she was 14 and I was 15 years young and broke up in march or april of 2009. Just before I planned on leaving to join the Marines is when she broke up. Not much later I found out she was with someone for a month before she broke up with me and she actually planned on not breaking up so I would join the marines and she would not have to worry about telling me until later. When I came back. After the whole thing was done I realized how terrible she treated me sometimes during our relationship and how she manipulated me many times to have her way or keep me in the dark about what she was up to or who she was with and what not. That's the ex, currently I'm with the girl that moved away from my school in 4th grade, I had a crush on her in 3rd grade and found out she had one on me when we met again years later in october of 2009. We ended up dating in october of 2009 but I also had a job offer from my uncle in Florida so I was down there from the end of october to september of 2010 with a couple visits back up to NY to see my girl and my family. Now Ive been back home from september and my girlfriend is now living with me due to other shennanigans that happened. Ok, now, the scenario is my ex is married to the kid she dumped me for, shes 8 months pregnant, the kid recently got back from the air force boot camp and thats all I know about that, but for some reason lately after I decided to join the Marines again I cant stop having dreams and thoughts about my ex and it's driving me absolutely nuts. My girl right now doesnt know how much my ex is on my mind but ive told her about a couple of the dreams and I feel completely terrible about my thoughts and dreams. Can somebody please help and give some advice on the matter? Thanks.

View related questions: best friend, broke up, crush, ex girlfriend, my ex

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A male reader, CuriousDreamer United States +, writes (30 January 2011):

CuriousDreamer is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the the answer aunt honesty, time is the best healer sometimes I guess. Also I never really thought of the fine line between love and hate, that can explain the odd mixed up feelings I suppose.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 January 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntOk well we cannot help about what we dream about, its our subcouncious trying to tell us something. It sounds to me like you never truely got over your ex. You obviously loved her and she obviously hurt you a lot by cheating on you and treating you so badly. This doesnt stop you loving her but am sure it made you hate her at the time. But there is a very fine line between love and hate and i guess you never truely accepted or got over her or what she done to you.

You need to find it within yourself to let go of the past and what she done to you, you need to accept that you and her were never meant to be that she got with this other guy and didnt stop for 2 minutes to concider your feelings, she was stringing you along and using you, what you need to do now is to look at your current girlfriend and realise all of the great traits she has. It might take some time to get these thoughts out of your mind, but if you learn to accept that it is in the past and that it should stay there then eventually she will become a memory.

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